The Secret Magic of Your Life Lesson

On your quest to discover your Life Purpose, do not overlook the magic that is your Life Lesson.

Your Life Lesson Is What You Are Here to Teach

I firmly believe in the adage that “you teach what you are here to learn.”

Your Life Lesson is the perfect insight to exactly what it is that you’ve signed up to master in this lifetime.

The skills, knowledge, and training that you need to help you overcome your own bête noir will masterfully support you to help other people with their own struggles, whether you help them literally and directly as a teacher or through another means, like through your creative work and how that work affects and heals them.

Your Life Lesson can and should be a central part of your Right Work.

Use Your Life Lesson to Unlock Your Life Purpose

Understanding your Life Lesson is actually the secret key to “unlocking” your Life Purpose.

What does that mean, unlocking?

Each of us is born to a certain task — a certain way of being and taking action in the world. This is your Life Purpose — the Big Thing, that when fulfilled, puts you in a place of true alignment with yourself and your inner Essence.

Once you discover what that is, you can set out on a course of pursuing it, of making it a central theme in your life, and of organizing your Right Work around it.

But interestingly enough, you’ll find that your Life Lesson will keep cropping up along the way, tripping you up, causing challenges, and generally throwing you off course, but when you “exalt” your life lesson, which means that you treat it almost as if it is your life purpose, you’ll find that it can become your greatest ally.

In other words, you want to discover what the inverse of your life lesson would be, and do that.

Here’s an example:

Deborah‘s life lesson is “Time, Money, & Integrity Issues.” The exalted form of that lesson is to become a Businessperson.

Her life purpose is “Visionary Healer,” but in order to fully embrace and develop her vision and her healing ability, she will not only need to clean up her time, money, and integrity responsibilities, but she’ll ultimately also want to devote some energy to becoming a masterful businesswoman as well.

That’s when her visionary healing abilities will really take off.

Exalting your lesson is what truly allows you to embrace your life purpose.

Your Life Lesson Is Your Blind Spot

Anytime you find yourself faltering with achieving your purpose or your Big Dreams, look to your lesson.

Your life lesson is your blind spot. You won’t know you’re doing it to yourself unless you really learn to watch for the red flags and be alert to the signals that your life lesson is coming on.

Even advanced students of life are still working on their life lessons. (Remember what I said last time? If you were done, you’d be dead. :) )

Here are some general red flags for you:

  • What do you often like to say you’ve already solved or mastered? Big red flag. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”
  • What do you find yourself getting pissed off at other people for? Again with the red flag. “You spot it, you got it.”
  • What repeated challenges do you find yourself bumping into again and again (and again)? Look carefully, there are variations on the theme that can LOOK like something else, but then wham, turns out it’s that same old thing. Another red flag. “Here we go again.”

Once you’ve had your hands analyzed, you’ll discover the specific red flags that show up for your particular life lesson (or combination of lessons), and you’ll be able to pinpoint it with an eagle eye, for ease of transformation.

Bottom line, remember the power and importance of your Life Lesson and how it can guide, impact, and unleash your life when given its proper due.

If finding your Life Purpose and Life Lesson interests you, I invite you to join me for one of my upcoming Life Purpose Breakthrough Groups or for a private hand analysis session.



  1. Amy Alexander says:

    The French phrase is “bete noir” (sorry, I’ve no idea where the circumflex is on my computer).

  2. Jennifer Carmack says:

    bête noir
    I had to look up the meaning of this word and the literal translation is black beast and the definition I read is something that is disliked or avoided. When I thought of the Life Lesson as a beast I thought of the scripture from the Book of Thomas scripture “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” I was also reminded of my favorite Gemini Zodiac image that shows a woman in the stars holding a silver and a dark grey baby on her lap. I struggle to holding all aspects of lesson and purpose and alchemize the energies therin. I look forward to my hand analysis to assist me with this. Thank you for this post Jenna.

    • Jenna says:

      Jennifer, Thank you for sharing that quote with us, that is a perfect illustration of what I’m talking about. I can’t wait to read your hands for you!

  3. Ann Hodges says:

    The French phrase is bete noir.

    What I appreciated about your blog post is the counterinituitiveness of finding your life lesson–the one aggravating thing you spot in others or think you have eradicated in yourself is the very thing you are here to learn about. As you are learning it yourself, you pass along the lesson to others. You don’t have to be an expert in order to teach others. In fact you are a better teacher because you have experienced this challenge, whatever it may be, yourself and can pass long wisdom, not just book learning.

    • Jenna says:

      Ann, Yes, I agree, it IS counter intuitive. And I LOVE your point about passing along wisdom and not just book learning. Indeed.

  4. Karen says:

    I can defenetely see that whenever I am doing something to help others overcome their bête noir, I am actually helping myself…
    Thanks for another great post, it’s a wonderful way to start my week (I live in Israel, and foloowing your articles I managed to contact a HSP group here…)..

    With love,

    • Jenna says:

      Yes! That’s right — helping others we help ourselves. Win-win. A perfect model of true service. Thank you, Karen. And glad to hear you connected with an HSP group, that’s fabulous. :)

  5. Karen says:

    The phrase: bête noir

    • Jenna says:

      Karen! Congratulations, you are the winner of the Spot the French contest this time. I’ll be emailing you with a gift certification coupon. :)

  6. Karin Spruill says:

    Bete Noir….

    What inspired me most about your post is that what trips us up most is what we need to keep working on, in order to get to what it is we need to teach. That is a very clear guidance. My biggest struggles are those I want to run away from. I am MORE motivated to work on them, rather than run away from them (and say to myself, well that’s just the way I am), if it means I can finally find my life’s purpose. Thanks!

    • Jenna says:

      Karin, Awesome — yes, working on them directly and consciously is the very best way to deal with them. And thus unlock your life purpose. Isn’t that cool?

  7. Jen says:

    bête noir – I always thought it meant inner demon, the thing that threatens to undo you despite your best efforts.

    What struck me about your post is the importance we should give to our Life Lesson, instead of just dealing with (or avoiding, or resisting) the challenges as they arise. That there is a sacred value in the lessons, because facing them helps us to become more whole.

    I also appreciated the reminder to look at what we are projecting onto others and own it in ourselves.

    Happy Mother’s Day, Jenna!

    • Jenna says:

      Hi Jen, how nice to see you!! I’ve missed you! Yes, I think of the bête noir the same. But when we welcome that inner beast it can become our ally. :) I love what you said, “there is a sacred value in the lessons, because facing them helps us to become more whole.”

  8. Hey Jenna,

    I’m so glad you read my hands – finding my life lesson confirmed that I was indeed on the right rebellious path. Once we get on our right life lesson path, life feels easy and glorious and inviting. When I wasn’t on it, I spent all my time anxiously caught up in someone else’s life lesson brambles… Thanks j.

    • Jenna says:

      Isn’t that just the best thing ever? (Well, maybe besides a fabulous sci fi movie. :) )

  9. Well now I’m REALLY curious what my hands say about my life purpose AND my life lesson….I just read your When the Going Gets Tough Part II post and of course, I could relate to ALL of them in someway…hmmm…Can’t wait for this reading next week! :)

    • Jenna says:

      Can’t wait to share them with you, Molly! I’m looking forward to reading your hands next week too. :)

  10. At last, someone finally put into words what I have been wondering and asking questions about – there is a difference between Life Lesson and Life Purpose. I now have something to work on and a direction to understand my Life Lesson. I did click for the list of the 10 primarily life lessons, red flags, and exalted forms but there was an Error 404 on it. Can you show the list again? It would help me understanding what my red flags are and where they keep appearing. One thing I feel I keep tripping over is Rheumatoid Arthritis, yet I have been writing a blog on the Gift of RA and wonder if that is where I am teaching as well as learning about myself.

    Jenna, you are always so spot on – I swear you are reading my mind. Thanks so much for being there for all of us.

    • Jenna says:

      I’m so glad this post was helpful for you, Lee. I love the idea of you writing a blog about the gift of Rheumatoid Arthritis, what a lovely way to deal with it.

  11. Hi Jenna,

    I have clicked on your link several times for 10 primarily life lessons, red flags, and exalted forms, but I keep getting an error page. Do you have them listed somewhere else? I would love to have them if possible.

    Thanks so much

    • Jenna says:

      Hi Lee, I am going to get them and post them for you here! I was literally JUST reminded of this today, and I promise I will get them for you. Thanks for asking again and thank you so much for your patience.

    • Jenna says:

      Here you go, Lee:

      In case you’re wondering now about your own Life Lesson, here’s a list of the 10 primary life lessons, what they are, and how to antidote them:

      * Failure — Struggling with incompletion, failure, and lack of results. Learn about success and getting results in the world. Become a doer. Get things done.

      * Powerlessness — Dealing with overwhelm, feeling helpless, feeling trapped. Learn to reclaim your own authority from others you have given your power to. Become a leader.

      * Irresponsibility, Money & Integrity Issues — Being irresponsible with time and money. Learn to value yourself, to deal with time and money with integrity. Become a businessperson.

      * Apathy, Creative Blocks & Hiding Out — Struggling with creative blocks, confusion, and apathy. Learn to use your creativity despite your fears of not belonging or being good enough. Become an artist.

      * Difficulty Speaking Up (Staying Mute) — Going silent, not speaking up. Learn to express your real point of view and experience. Become an author and speaker.

      * Family & Community Issues (Trouble with the Tribe) — Feeling disconnected, being the black sheep. Learn to overcome feelings of disconnection and finding real family and community. Become a family or community leader.

      * Boundaries (Victimization, Shame & Numbness) — Being the victim, having weak boundaries. Learn to stand your ground and become a passionate advocate for what you believe in. Become an advocate.

      * Lost Self-Worth, Integrity & Guilt — Devaluing yourself. Learn to value yourself, talents, and gifts. Take time for yourself. Open to receive. Become a mentor.

      * Paralyzing Fear of Rejection & Conformity — Feeling paralyzed. Overcome the fear of being rejected for your creative explorations and innovations. Accept being different. Become an innovator.

      * Trust, Intimacy & Surrender — Control and trust issues. Learn to listen to and trust your inner voice, surrender to the Universe, to yourself, and your path. Become a healer.

      Keep in mind that your lesson may actually be a combination lesson — mine, for instance is Surrender, Trust & Intimacy PLUS Apathy & Creative Blocks, which summarizes to Trusting My Creativity. My experience is that each piece of your lesson factors into the equation. Your Life Lesson is determined by your lowest ranking fingerprints in a hand analysis reading.

      Also keep in mind that your lesson may show up in infinite variations, but it’s always your Life Lesson. It may look like a car accident, an illness, an argument, a confrontation, an embarrassment, but it’s always your Life Lesson, teaching you what you signed up to learn. Look for it, and you’ll see what I mean.

      For instance, on the Creativity side, I’ve had repeatedly painful experiences of turning away from my creativity and not trusting my creative ability over the years — I dropped out of art school, architecture school, and theater studies. I’ve had people steer me away from my creativity, like my parents and my school advisers. I’ve had beloved friends and random acquaintances publicly ridicule my creative efforts.

      On the Trust, Intimacy & Surrender side of the equation, I’ve also had repeated incidences of intimate betrayals.

      ALL of these things happened when I wasn’t trusting myself or my creativity.

      They can LOOK like different things on the surface, but at the bottom line, they are all about my Life Lesson.

      And to come full circle, remember that you teach what you are here to learn.

      In my case, I’m here to help you learn to trust yourself, surrender to the Universe’s divine plan for you, and to overcome your inner obstacles to making your creative visions become tangible creations. In other words, I’m here to help you heal your relationship with yourself and with your creativity so you can create something amazing.

      • Jenna,

        Thank You so much for this. I would have written sooner but I have been down with the flu for 3 weeks – not conducive to writing. I find I have so little energy the last two years not only because of my Mom’s dementia and RA – I also broke my hip and spent 8 weeks in rehab. I looked forward to having time for myself to read and write – I was too tired to do anything but physical and occupational therapy. There is also a suspicion I am hiding behind all this so I can postpone stepping out, especially since I don’t know my Life Purpose.

        Thank you so much being there, you have made such a difference to what I am learning about myself.


  1. […] the moment, very few times of feeling like doing a happy dance.  However, I had an email from Jenna Avery about Life Lesson and Life Purpose – they aren’t the […]

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