The end of the world as we know it, part deux

December 5, 2012 by Jenna Avery 12 Comments

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about “the end of the world as we know it.”

So many people’s lives are shifting in difficult, challenging ways right now. I do feel like we’re starting to come out the other side of it, though, don’t you?

I’m reminded that even when things look disastrous, beneficial change is usually occurring.

Somehow this will all work out

When it’s happening in my own life, I like to say, “Somehow this will all work out, even if I can’t see how yet.” I believe in myself and my ability to make good, long-term choices for myself, and to get the help I need to see myself through difficult times, so even when it feels like things will be tanking forever, I remember that somehow I’ll see it through.

The right and perfect path

When it’s happening in someone else’s life, and it looks like they are crashing and burning, I hold out the same kind of hope. I believe that they are on their right and perfect path, when even from the outside it looks like a train wreck. Rather than staring overly at the debris or trying to fix it for them, I do my best to view their situation from a place of higher, spiritual respect that they are doing the best they consciously know how to handle their situations.

Love them through it

Certainly their choices may impact my own decisions about how, when, and if I choose to interact with them. I may even choose not to have them in my life any longer, but I can still view them, their lives, and choices with compassion.

So as we see our loved ones losing relationships, not living their dreams, sabotaging their lives, or just plain going through a rough patch, remember to love them through it.

As you see yourself struggling with painful emotions and circumstances, love yourself through it too.

Notice your capacity for compassion

The challenges I have been through myself this year, too numerous to count, have vastly increased my capacity for compassion and understanding for others. At least for me, that’s what this “whole 2012 thing” has been about.

What about you? What do you notice about your own capacity for compassion?

Your turn

Click here to share your thoughts. I love reading your comments and insights.

Also, thanks so much to all of you who celebrated with me for my birthday, in the sale and otherwise. I am grateful for your presence in my community.

Warmly,

~> Start the New Year Off WRITE. Register by December 28th for the New Year’s session of my Writer’s Circle (starts December 31st) and receive a special, rare, bonus savings of $30 on your first session when you use coupon code NEWYEARWRITE (you can also use this code to purchase a gift membership for the writer in your life who needs a little extra support). Build a solid habit of daily writing and finish all your writing projects: http://JustDoTheWriting.com.

~> Daily. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.* Right now I’m reworking my overview of mini movies 5 to 8 before diving in to the second half of the rewrite.

~> Reading: The Guardians of Ga’hoole* with my son. Watching on Homeland, Sports Night, and Castle (my motivation for going to the gym). Reading Adventures in the Screen Trade* by William Goldman and Scriptshadow Secrets* by Carson Reeves. I highly recommend both of them. Also reading snippets of Devil Said Bang* by Richard Kadrey. Sandman Slim is a great character.

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Intuition, Life Purpose Tagged With: 2012, change, compassion

Do you have accomplishment amnesia?

November 28, 2012 by Jenna Avery 14 Comments

Accomplishment amnesia is a common ailment that strikes many of us, particularly those of us that are highly conscientious, responsible, talented, and highly sensitive. It seems to run in parallel with these traits.

What is accomplishment amnesia?

Accomplishment amnesia occurs when we get so busy meeting our obligations and moving on to the “next thing” that we quickly forget what we’ve done in the past (however distant or recent) that has value.

I find this malady particularly comes up when we get into a place of self-doubt — we can’t remember a single thing we’ve done or accomplished. We feel useless, talentless, valueless.

We might even feel creatively blocked or numb because we are devaluing the work we’ve done but are not appreciating.

A darn good job

I’ve been going through a rough patch lately, and I noticed recently that as I’ve been starting to feel better, I’ve been berating myself for not having done more lately. “Why am I so behind? How have I let things get like this?”

I stopped myself and noticed what was really going on: I had accomplishment amnesia.

I quickly reminded myself of all the personal challenges I’ve faced over the last couple of months, including having surgery on my wrist, and shifted the conversation to noticing what I have done: filed my taxes, settled a car accident claim, dealt with an intensely difficult emotional time, never missed writing a blog post, coached my clients, continued running my Writer’s Circle, and carried on writing my screenplay no matter what. Wow! I’ve accomplished a lot under very difficult circumstances.

Sure, there’s more, there always is. But look at what I’ve done!

Does this happen for you too?

Most of my clients have this kind of accomplishment amnesia. They’re so focused on what they haven’t done, that they forget to celebrate what they have.

Here’s how you can start to shift out of this delusion that you haven’t done anything worthwhile:

1. Catch accomplishment amnesia early.

When you notice yourself falling into the pattern (like I did), stop and take stock. Is it really true that you haven’t been doing enough? Take a few minutes to review what you actually have done. You’ll be surprised.

2. Don’t buy into the standard definitions of success and accomplishment.

Don’t limit yourself to society’s success definitions. Instead, think about what you’re proud of. Create your own definition of what it means to be successful.

Just yesterday, my writers and I were discussing what it means to claim the title of “writer.” Many of us are discovering it has much less to do with being a published or sold writer (though many of us are striving for those), and everything to do with showing up and doing the writing regularly — having a writing practice.

3. Set small milestones.

Increase your sense of accomplishment by setting and celebrating small milestones as you attain them. Instead of only celebrating when you complete the book, whoop it up for every chapter. Then when you do hit the finish line, make sure you celebrate that point too.

I’m rewriting my screenplay using Chris Soth’s “Mini Movie Method,” which lends itself nicely to this sort of milestone assessment. Every 15 pages I complete another mini-movie, so it’s easy to create a sense of accomplishment as I go.

Look for similar small milestones in your own work.

4. Celebrate your accomplishments in the moment.

I watched a fun video of Tamara Ireland Stone, author of the young adult book, Time Between Us,* which I just finished reading and very much enjoyed. She had just received her box of copies of her book and made a point to celebrate with her husband and friend and glass of wine. I hope she’ll do the same for every future book as well.

When you do have an accomplishment, STOP what you’re doing and celebrate. Build the muscles of appreciation for yourself and your work.

5. Create a “brag book.”

I’ve forgotten where I first heard this term, but the idea is to create a scrap book of your accomplishments so that you can go back and remind yourself, “Yes, I’ve done some amazing, wonderful things.” And you have. Include anything and everything you can think of that you’ve accomplished. On my list: birthing my son, finishing my first screenplay, completing graduate school and earning two master’s degrees, nurturing an incredible friendship with my best friend, becoming a certified life coach, etc.

Bottom line

It’s all too easy to think of ourselves as never reaching the finish line when there’s always so much more to do. Rather than thinking you’ll never get there, remember to enjoy what you’re doing along the way. It’s the journey, after all, that counts.

Your turn

Click here to tell me what you think. I always love to read your feedback.

Warmly,

Filed Under: Inner Game of Writing Tagged With: accomplishment amnesia, creative blocks, creative burnout, Creativity, writing

7 Steps to Recovering From Creative Burnout

November 21, 2012 by Jenna Avery 4 Comments

Over the last few weeks I’ve been writing about creative depletion and the cycle of creative burnout, and creating a cycle of creative renewal.

Today it’s time to talk about recovering from creative burnout.

As I said to one of my Called to Write members once, it’s a matter of rebuilding trust with yourself and coaxing yourself back to the table.

So how do we do that?

7 recovery steps

1. First, acknowledge the exhaustion and aversion to the work that’s developed.

It’s real. It’s normal, and it’s totally understandable.

Burnout happens from pushing ourselves too hard for too long and expecting that creative well to remain topped off. Doesn’t happen.

2. Next, make a plan for recovery that includes down time.

…even if it’s in the smallest of moments every day. Give yourself permission to close your eyes in a comfortable chair for a few moments allows your mind to let go, and relax. You’re exhausted, you need to rest.

Ideally, you’ll also want to schedule some full days off — and vacations, if possible — where you do nothing that’s not just for you. Over the last month, I’ve taken two full days, mid-week, just to put my feet up and watch movies, eat great food, get some body work done, and saunter through the day at my own pace.

In other words, go for full out indulgence from time-to-time. You’ll work harder, better, and faster, when you’re rested. Not before.

3. When you feel ready, remind yourself why you love your craft.

Just today I was watching some clips from my favorite show ever, Firefly, and felt an upwelling of inspiration and passion come surging back through me.

You do love this work, you’ve just temporarily forgotten why.

Figure out what your jump-starts are, and go back to them when you need one.

4. Don’t expect new ideas to come flowing back to you immediately.

Give yourself time and space to recovery, trusting that your creativity will return. Remember: you’re not blocked, you’re exhausted.

When my writers don’t know what to write and don’t have ideas flowing, I encourage them to start with a practice of morning pages (Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way* is the seminal book on the subject).

5. Find ways to regain your inspiration.

Go on “Artist’s Dates” (again, see The Artist’s Way*), take yourself out for walks, movies, book signings, and speaking events. Consider attending events that have nothing to do with your craft. It’s amazing how other topics, knowledge, and ideas can reignite your own originality.

6. When you feel ready, make a baby steps plan to get back on track with your work.

At Called to Write, we recommend working in the smallest possible increment of time that you know without question, that you will actually do. It’s okay if it seems ridiculously easy (that’s the point, in fact). You’ll slowly build back up to more over time.

7. Give thought to how to prevent burnout next time.

In other words, plan ahead. Learn how to pace yourself properly and deal with the natural resistance and procrastination that comes up around creative work so that you don’t put yourself right back where you’ve started.

If you do get into a situation where you’ll be pushing to meet a deadline, think about how you can counter-balance the effort on the other side.

The bottom line

Creative recovery requires patience, permission, and a great deal of self-care. You, and your work, deserve it. Please give it to yourself.

Thanks for reading!

Click here to tell me what you think. I always love to receive your feedback.

And Happy Thanksgiving to those of you celebrating here in the U.S. and abroad. I’m grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for being part of my life.

Warmly,

Creating a cycle of creative renewal

November 14, 2012 by Jenna Avery 6 Comments

In my last post, I wrote about the cycle of creative burnout and how our creative inspiration becomes depleted when we push ourselves too hard and for too long.

I’m well acquainted with burnout; it’s a cultural norm in the field of urban design, my last “real” J.O.B. The writing profession has its own set of deadline-driven, high-stress work.

In the creative realms, including writing, artists are often seen as people who work in fits and starts, pulling all-nighters when they suddenly become inspired (or finally stop procrastinating).

I’ve allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of heroism that comes when I swoop in and save the day, meeting the deadline with just seconds to spare, but I’ve paid high prices for every single one of those dramatic experiences: apathy, resistance, confusion, grief, exhaustion, and lifelessness.

And truthfully, I STILL feel like I’m recovering from the bad choices I made working 60 and 70 hours a week more than 10 years ago.

Balance is a myth? I don’t think so.

It’s been said that balance is a myth and that passion should reign supreme.

I disagree.

Imbalance is an amateur’s gig.

Balance — an ongoing cycle of work and renewal without resorting to extremes — is part of not hitting bottom in the first place.

Balance is about staying sane.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t work hard and play hard at different times.

But it does mean keeping an eye on the greater whole and not bingeing on any one thing at any given time.

So what DOES a cycle of creative renewal look like?

The cycle of creative renewal

It looks like this:

Tell me what you think

I love to read your comments on the blog.

Warmly,

~> November 15th. Join my free Writer’s Chat on Vokle.com TOMORROW. Sign up here: https://calledtowrite.com/writers-chat

~> November 21st. Register by WEDNESDAY November 21st (a day early because of the U.S. Thanksgiving) for the next 4-week session of my “Just Do The Writing” Accountability Circle (starts November 26th). Build a solid habit of daily writing and finish all your writing projects: http://JustDoTheWriting.com

~> Daily (back at it now that I’m more or less recovered from my wrist surgery). Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.* Working on “mini-movie 4!”

~> Reading: How to Train Your Dragon with my son. Back to watching Big Love.

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Recovering From Creative Burnout Tagged With: apathy, balance, creative burnout, creative renewal, Creativity, resistance, writer's block, writing

When you have nothing left

November 7, 2012 by Jenna Avery 9 Comments

In my Called to Write community we periodically talk about creative burnout.

In our Western culture we work hard, driven by puritanical work ethics, cultural programming, keeping up with the Joneses, guilt, etc. It’s no wonder we’re exhausted.

We push and push ourselves, expecting our wells of creativity, resourcefulness, and inspiration never to run dry.

And then one day, we turn to the well and find it empty. No ideas. Maybe even a sense of dread and apathy.

The only way out is through

In a recent blog post, Mark Sanderson talks about his experience with this kind of creative depletion and how he recovered from it. Interestingly, his solution had to do with carrying on and doing the work no matter what.

He said:

“Some call it ‘writer’s block.’ I call it sheer terror. When this happens you need to relax and continue to work at your process. I know this too well from experience, but it still proves true every time – the only way to solve specific problems is to sit down and focus on the work.”

It seems the only way out is through.

It takes courage

Writing — for that matter doing anything that calls us to step out of our comfort zone — requires a great deal of courage. A willingness to be uncomfortable often. To sit in it, do the work, and get to the other side.

No wonder we tend to procrastinate rather than facing that terror and doing it anyway.

Procrastination and burnout are close cousins

I’ve observed that procrastination plays a key role in creative burnout — part of a vicious, intertwined cycle:

The reason we work past the point of endurance and exhaust ourselves is that we have procrastinated for so long that we are forced to push ourselves. And the reason we procrastinate that we are afraid.

I love what Steven Pressfield says about fear in his book Turning Pro:

“The professional, by the way, is just as terrified as the amateur. In fact the professional may be more terrified because she is more acutely conscious of herself and her interior universe. The difference lies in the way the professional acts in the face of fear.”

Coming up in future posts: Recovering from creative burnout and creating a cycle of creative renewal.

Tell me what you think

I love to read your comments on the blog.

Warmly,

Filed Under: Recovering From Creative Burnout Tagged With: creative burnout, Creativity, fear, procrastination, terror, writing

When you feel like you don’t belong

October 31, 2012 by Jenna Avery 8 Comments

Something that often comes up for introverts and sensitives is a feeling of not belonging.

I’ve noticed that this feeling of not belonging often comes up in higher stakes social situations, like conferences (whether for work or for pleasure) and parties.

I suspect that this feeling of not belonging is primarily triggered by feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed by the energy of all the different people in the room, as well as by the intensity of our own hopes and expectations about the event.

Not belonging is a kind of rejection

Of particular interest to me is that most sensitives (including me) will go through some kind of rejection process as part of dealing with their belonging issues.

Often this looks like telling ourselves, “I don’t belong here. There’s something wrong with me, I don’t fit in, I’m not as good as so-and-so at this, what was I even thinking to be here in the first place?”

But it can also look like this, “These people are horrible, what are they doing/thinking/saying that for? I can’t believe how [fill in the blank] they are being. I don’t have these problems, I don’t belong here, I’m better than they are.”

It’s a clear pattern of rejection.

In the first case, we reject ourselves.

In the second case, we reject “them.”

Rejection like this is a form of judging

Inherent in this way of thinking is judgment.

We’re either judging ourselves or judging other people.

And why?

I notice that I’m much more likely to get into this kind of pattern when I’m feeling insecure about something.

“Compare and despair”

(Martha Beck’s phrase)

It also feels a lot like comparison.

Remember what we say about comparison? Someone always loses.

I think the same thing goes for judging.

I lose when I judge, whether I’m judging myself, which is so painful, or when I’m judging someone else, because I rob myself of the opportunity to see someone as human, flawed, and imperfect, just like I am.

Judgment versus discernment

As a counterpoint to my own argument, I feel compelled to add that judgment can be a useful tool when applied as discernment. We can and should be discerning about how we invest our time, energy, and money in the world, and who we spend it with. It strikes me that judgment (at least the kind of judgment we’re talking about here) is healthy discernment run amok.

Judgment makes it personal. Discernment makes choices.

Connecting at the level of humanity

A few weeks ago, I talked about how looking from the outside in never gives us the full story about other people, so we need to be careful not to make assumptions about things like how successful other people are or not, what they really think or believe or feel about something, or what their businesses, habits, homes, or relationships are actually like.

I’ve also been observing how much pain and struggle so many of us are experiencing right now, and while I don’t like to focus on the struggle, it’s real and true.

At conferences and parties everyone tries so hard to “BE SOMEONE” they are not, it’s much more difficult to connect to the truth of their humanity, just like it’s harder to connect to our own humanity when we’re focused on the image of who we are trying to be.

The painful beauty of events like Hurricane Sandy is that they connect us together through the simple truth of being alive, something I remember all too well from the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake and the 1991 Oakland Hills firestorm.

When we can find that place of connection, by staying grounded and connected with our own bodies and looking to see the deeper souls through the eyes of the people around us, we are always safe, we always belong, and there is no need to judge.

Share your thoughts

I always love to hear what you think on the blog.

Warmly,

~> November 15th. Mark your calendar to join my free Writer’s Chat on Vokle.com. I’ll be sending registration details soon.

~> November 21st. Register by WEDNESDAY November 21st (a day early because of American Thanksgiving) for the next 4-week session of my “Just Do The Writing” Accountability Circle (starts November 26th). Build a solid habit of daily writing and finish all your writing projects: http://JustDoTheWriting.com

~> Ongoing. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.* I’m currently editing “mini-movie 3” of my script before moving on to complete “mini-movie 4” and hit the midpoint of my script. I’m thrilled with the progress I’ve been making.

~> Sacred writing time. My schedule is in flux right now but I’m still writing.

~> Reading: How to Train Your Dragon and still bits of Eragon with my son. Loving Homeland, though now that I’ve caught up to the current season it’s taking waaaaayyyy too long between episodes. I’m making do by catching up on Big Love and Sports Night. I saw someone call Joss Whedon “your parents’ Aaron Sorkin” and I couldn’t agree more.

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Sensitivity Tagged With: conference-itis, humanity, image, introvert, judgment, sensitivity, senstitive

Why we procrastinate, especially about the stuff that really matters

October 24, 2012 by Jenna Avery 7 Comments

I had a lovely chat with a friend recently about applying to a school program she’s interested in. She confessed that even though she very much wanted to attend the school, she hadn’t yet completed the application.

Ah!

That familiar friend: Procrastination.

Why do we procrastinate about things that are important to us?

Why is that when it comes time to do the hard work, whether it’s taking action on our businesses, filing important paperwork, writing that longed for novel or script, or making time for our art, we stall?

I mean, sure, it’s hard, but we’ve also said how important it is to us. We’ve spent money on classes, books, training, and support. We’ve written it into our schedules. It’s clearly a priority for us, right?

So why so much talk and not so much action?

It’s the size of the dream that matters.

I’ll say that again: It’s the size of the dream that matters.

The more important something is to you, the more fear, procrastination, and resistance you experience. In fact, the level of fear you feel seems to be directly proportional to the size of the dream.

Perhaps even a little bigger, just for good measure.

“The more we care about something, the more we dream, the more fear shows up.”

~ Robert Maurer, author of One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way

The problem: We’re wired to shut down in the face of fear.

The fact that our brains are wired to shut down in the face of fear is what creates the entire conundrum in the first place.

As Robert Maurer describes in One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way, when our brains go into fight-or-flight mode, our frontal cortex — our thinking, rational brain — is automatically shut off so that we can respond appropriately and quickly to the threat at hand. This is a natural response to fear. Unfortunately, our mid-brains, home to the amygdala that governs the fight-or-flight response, can’t differentiate between the fear that comes up when we’re confronted with a tiger or when we’re contemplating completing the next great opus.

And so suddenly your thinking, rational and creative brain is completely turned off . . . which when you’re attempting to create and design new business ideas or a screenplay, isn’t so helpful.

The good news

The good news is that when you can learn to expect the fear to show up, you can normalize it and make it okay. Then it’s easier to be compassionate with yourself and coax yourself through the tasks at hand.

I’ve learned to recognize my own resistance routine and treat it like a familiar visitor I know how to handle.

I tell myself, “It’s okay, I know you’re scared, you can do this anyway.” And I do (as my Called to Write members can attest).

It helps that I make a point to tackle things in small pieces, just the way Maurer recommends: “Small, easily achievable goals — such as picking up and storing just one paper clip on a chronically messy desk — let you tiptoe right past the amygdala, keeping it asleep and unable to set off alarm bells.”

This is why, even on really tough days, you’ll still find me writing at least 15 minutes a day on my screenplay, six days a week, no matter what.

The really good news?

The more work you do in small steps, the more your brain gets rewired with new neural pathways and new habits, making resistance so much easier to overcome.

Your turn

What’s your experience with procrastination? How do you deal with it? Have you experimented with small steps at all? You know I love to hear from you in the comments.

Warmly,

The end of the world as we know it

October 17, 2012 by Jenna Avery 27 Comments

I’ve been writing a lot about staying on course and listening to our own inner guidance about what we’re passionate about and called to take action on. Today’s post ventures a little father afield into a broader context I’m noticing for so many people right now: radically changing circumstances. Enjoy.

I’ve been interested in the idea of the world “ending” in 2012. Curious, waiting to see what will really happen, and anticipating something along the lines of Y2K.

In other words, not much.

My sense has always been that if December 2012 truly is the “end of the world,” that it would more likely be “The end of the world as we know it,” meaning that things will change radically and significantly as we pass through the final months of 2012… perhaps even being so lucky as to emerge into a new state of higher consciousness as some of the spiritual leaders suggest due to some kind of major world-wide changes or events.

That seems like a good thing. I’m down with it.

As I’ve observed this year unfolding however, I’ve been caught off guard by the way this massive change is playing out. I’d expected to see it on global scale, but instead (at least so far) I’m seeing big shifts on a very personal scale.

So many people around me are experiencing sudden, sweeping change. Their loved ones are dying or being diagnosed with major illnesses. Relationships are crumbling apart and unexpected truths are being revealed. So much is happening and so many people are affected and in crisis. Even people who seem “immune” because their lives appear fairly stable are getting unexpected phone calls that send their lives spiraling in entirely new directions.

It has happened for me too: Over the last 2 months, my personal life has been changed in an entirely unexpected way. I believe it will ultimately be all to the good — and — it’s been darn hard going through it.

It feels like the world is being adjusted — everything that doesn’t support us is being changed or let go of — in a radical, unalterable way.

I think I’m seeing “the end of the world as we know it” unfolding before my very eyes.

My world has certainly been irrevocably changed.

So has my best friend’s life. So has my cousin’s, my sister’s, and my friend’s life. So many changes are happening every day and everywhere.

Surprisingly, I feel 100 times stronger than I ever have before.

My resolve to keep writing no matter what has been astounding, and gratifying.

My sense of commitment to myself has been deeply reaffirmed.

It isn’t easy.

There are hard days and easier days.

But I have this sense that we’ll ALL get to the other side of this challenging time stronger, more connected, and more whole.

What do you think?

You know I love to hear from you in the comments on the blog.

Warmly,

~> October 25th. Register by October 25th for the next 4-week session of my “Just Do The Writing” Accountability Circle (starts October 29th). Looking to feel passionate again about your writing? You must write to get there: http://JustDoTheWriting.com

~> Ongoing. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.*

~> Sacred writing time. My schedule is in flux right now but I’m still writing.

~> Reading: Eragon with my son. Loving Homeland, it’s amazing.

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Creative Blocks, Intuition Tagged With: 2012, change, end of the world as we know it, intuitive

Design small solutions

October 10, 2012 by Jenna Avery Leave a Comment

I’ve learned to closely examine my tripping points to look for solutions.

By tripping points I mean the places in my routine where I fail to see something through to completion, whether it’s a household task, a writing project, or a personal phone call I’m just not making.

Tripping points can occur at any point in the continuum of a project or task, from start to finish.

Tripping points lead to incompletion

As I’ve studied my own process and observed my clients as well, what I’ve found is that we collectively have a tendency to either skip over key steps or fail to think through the full process.

Both of these have the same result: incompletion.

Find a higher thought

I think the inception of this exploration began back in my 20s when I was working with a therapist and I used to write my checks to her at the end of the session. There was always an awkward moment, waiting for me to do so. One day she said to me, “Other clients write out checks in advance.”

It was a new thought, something I hadn’t considered. I even realized that I was drawing out the time with her by waiting to write the checks at the end. I vowed to change my pattern right away. From that day forward, I always arrived with check in hand and had the matter settled from the start.

The tiniest things make a big difference

When it comes to getting things done, I’ve learned that the tiniest things make a big difference many times over. With my writing, for example, if the computer is right next to me when I wake up, I’m much more likely to work on my script right away — particularly if I’ve closed my email program before lights out the night before.

Mind you, I’m not always perfect about everything (thank goodness, or my inner rebel would freak out) but it’s highly useful to know the tricks that will get me into action. That said, I still have some lingering items (that darn video!) that need work.

The 2 second rule

I read recently (I wish I could remember where, if you know please tell me) about a guy who wanted to read more but was always turning on the television instead of picking up a book. His solution was to take the batteries out of his television remote control, making it just that much harder (2 seconds harder) to turn on the TV — and he found himself reading a lot more.

I’ve seen writers in my Writer’s Circle do similar things — making sure their writing materials are at the ready so that when they wake up, it’s easy to get started.

I’ve heard about a virtual assistant who keeps post-it notes on her fridge to track her hours and to do items so it’s extra easy to jot it down rather than having to dig out her work notebook.

I keep magnetic note pads on my refrigerator and have a system for keeping my pantry filled: If something gets taken out of the pantry, it goes on the list. We always have an extra bottle of ketchup that way. (Good thing with little kids around, and in earthquake country to boot.)

Your turn

How could you apply this idea to make getting something done easier? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Warmly,

~> October 4th. My next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group. SOLD OUT. http://LifePurposeBreakthrough.com

~> Ongoing. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.*

~> Sacred writing time. My schedule is in flux right now but I’m writing regularly nonetheless.

~> Reading: Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows with my son — so close to finishing now! I think we’re going to read Eragon next. Or maybe Narnia, or The Belgariad. I can’t wait. I’m deeply enthralled by Homeland, finally saw the finale of Weeds (weird), and I’m so happy Castle is back on the air. *Grin*

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Creativity, Productivity Tagged With: completion, incompletion, obstacles, tripping points

Is it okay to be vulnerable in business?

October 3, 2012 by Jenna Avery 10 Comments

A favorite client of mine wrote the other day asking about my thoughts on showing vulnerability in business. She’d been reading a ebook by Lissa Rankin called, “How to Change the World.” In it, Rankin says,

“Speak your truth. The more you allow yourself to be vulnerable, the more you’ll discover the voice of your truth, raring to be heard. Once you get over the fear of rejection that accompanies being vulnerable, you’ll find you have much more to say—and you’ll find a whole boatload of people who are dying to listen.”

I very much agree with this.

But how far does it go?

At the same time, my client and I have had exchanges over the years about how far to go — do we air our dirty laundry in public? Are we being disingenuous if we leave things out? Are there entrepreneurs out there who just go too far and give too much information?

My client also asked a great question, “If I’m trying to decide what level of vulnerability I’m going to show my audience, does that defeat the purpose of it?”

Be real

I think it’s incredibly important to be real — that’s the only way we find our true voice, especially in writing and speaking.

It’s okay to be private too

And, as a sensitive person, it doesn’t work for me to share deeply personal information in public in the name of being authentic and transparent. I need and want to maintain a degree of privacy and personal space. On the other hand, I want you to know me, so you know what you get when you work with me. I agree with Lissa Rankin that the way to find your audience is by speaking your truth and being visible and public about what matters to you.

Where does this leave us?

So is it a question of degree?

Or timing?

Does it mean ALL the truth?

My solution

My solution is to write raw, first. When I’m ready to share something, I core-dump the messy truth with the aim of finding and sharing a message of hope within it. It’s a cathartic process often — I learn just as much through the writing of my thoughts as (I hope) you do from my sharing of them.

I also think it’s a question of timing. If I share the despair and pain I’m in with my audience while I’m going through it, it’s like watching a train wreck. If I share it with you after the fact, and what I’ve gained from my lessons and experiences, we all benefit.

Sometimes I’m able to hold the broader perspective while I’m going through something. If that’s true, I’ll share it at the time it’s happening. If not, I’ll wait (someday you’ll see some work from me around the early days of parenting as an HSP, but not yet. *Grin*)

Bottom line

The bottom line is:

I don’t go into detail about personal things that are no one’s business but my own — and I don’t think that means I’m not being real, rather being private, and,
I don’t go into detail about vulnerable things when I’m in the middle of it, unless I feel like I can share it in a way that benefits me and others.

This is the path I’ve found that works for me so far.

Your turn

What do you think? What works for you in this area? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Warmly,

~> October 4th. My next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group. SOLD OUT. http://LifePurposeBreakthrough.com

~> Ongoing. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.*

~> Sacred writing time. My schedule is in flux right now but I’m writing regularly nonetheless.

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Speaking, Writing Tagged With: authentic voice, business, speaking, TMI, truth, vulnerability, vulnerability in business, writing

Somehow this will all work out

The right and perfect path

Love them through it

Notice your capacity for compassion

Your turn

* Affiliate link

What is accomplishment amnesia?

A darn good job

Does this happen for you too?

1. Catch accomplishment amnesia early.

2. Don’t buy into the standard definitions of success and accomplishment.

3. Set small milestones.

4. Celebrate your accomplishments in the moment.

5. Create a “brag book.”

Bottom line

Your turn

7 recovery steps

1. First, acknowledge the exhaustion and aversion to the work that’s developed.

2. Next, make a plan for recovery that includes down time.

3. When you feel ready, remind yourself why you love your craft.

4. Don’t expect new ideas to come flowing back to you immediately.

5. Find ways to regain your inspiration.

6. When you feel ready, make a baby steps plan to get back on track with your work.

7. Give thought to how to prevent burnout next time.

The bottom line

Thanks for reading!

Balance is a myth? I don’t think so.

Imbalance is an amateur’s gig.

The cycle of creative renewal

Tell me what you think

* Affiliate link

The only way out is through

It takes courage

Procrastination and burnout are close cousins

Tell me what you think

Not belonging is a kind of rejection

Rejection like this is a form of judging

“Compare and despair”

Judgment versus discernment

Connecting at the level of humanity

Share your thoughts

* Affiliate link

Why do we procrastinate about things that are important to us?

It’s the size of the dream that matters.

“The more we care about something, the more we dream, the more fear shows up.”

The problem: We’re wired to shut down in the face of fear.

The good news

The really good news?

Your turn

* Affiliate link

Tripping points lead to incompletion

Find a higher thought

The tiniest things make a big difference

The 2 second rule

Your turn

* Affiliate link

But how far does it go?

Be real

It’s okay to be private too

Where does this leave us?

My solution

Bottom line

Your turn

* Affiliate link

Join Called to Write