Jenna Avery | Called to Write

Building a habit: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

May 23, 2012 by Jenna Avery 2 Comments

When it comes to building a habit, consistency is self-reinforcing.

As I walked to the gym today, I noticed how important it was that I was simply going to the gym at all.

Because this is a habit I’m working to newly reestablish in my life, I want to make sure I create a solid routine of going to there on a regular basis. Not easy for someone who has excuses about a million other things she “should” be doing. (Sounds an awful lot like what I used to say about writing. Ahem.)

It dawned on me that in some ways it doesn’t matter how much I work out or what exactly I do for exercise — at least not at these beginning stages — as it does that I am there and exercising at all.

First get the habit in place

This is exactly the same principle we use in my Writer’s Circle.

We ask our newest writers to focus primarily on first building the habit of checking in regularly on the site and noticing what happened around their writing, whether they did it or not.

There such deep power and information in that noticing. It’s the power to refine, hone, and improve. To make something actually work.

This is true with all endeavors that generate resistance, like taking action to build your business, practicing your art everyday, prioritizing your personal growth work, making your spiritual practice a priority, etc.

Do it as early as you can

And very often, it involves making sure you do the hard, scary thing first, before you have a chance to think about it.

That’s why I write before I’m even fully awake, and before I do anything else.

That’s why I frogmarch myself to the gym directly after I take my son to school, because I know I won’t get there otherwise.

We have to be smarter than our extremely tricky, slippery selves that would rather go along with the same-old, same-old than try something new, grow, or rise into being all of who we are here to be.

Interestingly, building those habits makes overcoming the resistance in the long haul much, much easier.

And of course, it begins with a single step.

Your turn

Share your thoughts. I always love to hear from you.

Warmly,

~> May 1st to June 5th. My new Spotlight Study Group for sensitives, artists and hermit types who are ready to take their call to the spotlight more seriously and clear up the obstacles getting in their way.

> June 7th. Last day to register for the next 4-week session of my “Just Do The Writing” Accountability Circle. This is for writers who want help staying on track and consistent about doing their writing, day in and day out. http://JustDoTheWriting.com

~> New! I’m now doing some mentoring work with Chris Soth through ScreenwritingU. We had our first meeting today, and it was outstanding.

~> Fall. Heading to Hollywood for a ScreenwritingU event to meet with producers and agents.

~> Sacred writing time. Early mornings and Fridays.

~> Just reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to my boy. Now we’re starting in on The Incredibly Awesome Adventures of Puggie Liddell, Tesla Time, Book 1 by Karen Mueller Bryson.

Filed Under: Writing Practice Building Tagged With: building a habit, resistance, routine, writing habits

Writer’s block: Does it exist?

May 16, 2012 by Jenna Avery 3 Comments

I’m fascinated about the debate about “writer’s block.” Some people claim that it does not exist, while others find themselves in the grips of it and feel invalidated by the people telling them it isn’t possible.

I think it’s a question of definition.

What does it mean to be blocked?

I met a writer once who claimed he was “blocked,” which to him seemed to mean that he was completely unable to think or express anything, verbal, written, or otherwise. He simply refused to try to express what was going on inside him (we were in a coaching session), saying, “I don’t know. I’m blocked,” as if it was a disease that had consumed him that he was unable to control and he was unable to speak, think, write, or act.

I think this is what people mean when they don’t say they believe in writer’s block — that it seems unlikely that writers are so completely unable to communicate.

I’m inclined to agree, but I’ve also heard so many stories about writers who have been blocked for years, it’s a bit confusing.

Plumber’s block?

Chris Guillebeau, in our Q&A interview the other day, said, “Have you ever heard of plumber’s block? Of course not — so if you’re a writer, you just need to write.”

It’s like writer’s block has become a passive excuse for not taking action on our writing, just like saying we’re creatively blocked is a passive way of not taking action on our creative work. And while I think it might actually be possible for a plumber to feel blocked, Chris makes a good point.

Can we redefine it as resistance?

On the other hand, if we redefine writer’s block as that constellation of perfectionism, procrastination, fear, excuses, anxiety, negativity, confusion, apathy, discomfort, and self-doubt otherwise known as resistance, then I think we’ve got something we can understand and deal with.

To my mind, resistance is a truer naming of writer’s block. It encompasses that sense of reluctance we feel about pursuing things that we know we want to do. I’ve known I’ve wanted to write for years, but hadn’t completed any larger works until recently.

Resistance is the stumbling block, and fear is its silent partner.

Writing — or taking action — is the answer, according to Seth Godin and Ira Glass. I’m inclined to agree.

Interesting links on writer’s block

Wikipedia article on writer’s block

Seth Godin on the writer’s block epidemic

Ira Glass on storytelling (live)

Ira Glass on storytelling (animated)

i09 on different storytelling writer’s blocks and how to deal with them

Trippy therapy techniques for blocked Hollywood writers and executives

Your turn

Do you know of any intriguing articles, perspectives, or resources about writer’s block or creative blocks? I’d love to have you post them in the comments on the blog.

Warmly,

Chris Guillebeau on “The $100 Startup”

May 14, 2012 by Jenna Avery 6 Comments

Chris Guillebeau, author of The Art of Non-Conformity, world-wide traveler, and blogger extraordinaire, was kind enough to do a Q & A with me for your reading pleasure about his brand spanking new book, The $100 Startup: Reinvent the Way You Make a Living, Do What You Love, and Create a New Future, which just came out last week.

Chris has hit the road and is on a 7-continent book tour to spread the message of his book.

Jenna: What’s the big message you want people to take away from the new book?

Chris: If you want to start a business, or even just create an additional source of income, the skills you already have are all you need.

Jenna: What’s your advice for people who want to start a business based on what they love but feel reluctant about marketing and promoting?

Chris: Stop thinking of it as marketing and promoting. Think of it as connecting; doing what feels natural while inviting others to join your cause.

Jenna: How do you stay true to your own creative vision? Does that come easily to you? Do you ever wander in the darkness about your vision? How do you find your way back out?

Chris: I constantly wander. But when I’m off-track, I feel antsy. I’m not afraid of making mistakes, but I’m afraid of giving up. So I just keep trying things.

Jenna: Have you experienced anything you would consider a failure? How did you recover from it and get back on track?

Chris: Many times, over and over. Several of my product launches haven’t gone the way I would like. I’ve gotten lost all over the world and been stuck without a way out of several countries.

The key is to: a) reduce the risk of failure, to where you’re much more likely to succeed, and b) reduce the cost of failure, so that if you fail, you can begin again soon.

Jenna: What are your writing habits like? Have you ever dealt with writer’s block?

Chris: I write 1,000 words a day, every day. Not everything is brilliant (in fact, most of it isn’t), but persistence is very important in any creative discipline.

“Writer’s block” is an imagined condition that allows you to enable your rationalization. Have you ever heard of plumber’s block? Of course not — so if you’re a writer, you just need to write.

Jenna: What do you suggest for people who have a vision to write a book but haven’t quite gotten started with it yet?

Chris: Well, the most important thing is to have a clear vision, so if you’ve got that far, you’re farther along than I was when I started. The next thing is to create a structure that allows you to work on completing the outline in bite-sized pieces every day for as long as it takes. If you get stuck, see the previous answer.

About The $100 Startup & Chris Guillebeau:

(Excerpted from the official blurb about the book)

“In The $100 Startup, Chris Guillebeau shows you how to lead a life of adventure, meaning and purpose — and earn a good living.

“Still in his early thirties, Chris is on the verge of completing a tour of every country on earth — he’s already visited more than 175 nations — and yet he’s never held a “real job” or earned a regular paycheck. Rather, he has a special genius for turning ideas into income, and he uses what he earns both to support his life of adventure and to give back.

“Here, finally, distilled into one easy-to-use guide, are the most valuable lessons from those who’ve learned how to turn what they do into a gateway to self-fulfillment. It’s all about finding the intersection between your ‘expertise’ — even if you don’t consider it such — and what other people will pay for.

“You don’t need an MBA, a business plan or even employees. All you need is a product or service that springs from what you love to do anyway, people willing to pay, and a way to get paid.

“This remarkable book will start you on your way.”

Buy the book on Amazon here.

Find out more at http://100startup.com/

Note: Amazon links are affiliate links.

Filed Under: Creativity, Productivity Tagged With: AONC, business, chris guillebeau, creative vision, entrepreneur, recovering from failure, the $100 startup, the art of non-conformity, writing

When you’re dragging your feet around being seen by your audience, remember this

April 25, 2012 by Jenna Avery 2 Comments

If you know you are meant to be in front of an audience, sharing your creative work, but you’re dragging your feet about it, I want to remind you of something.

Your call to the spotlight is not optional.

It’s not going to work if you do it halfway, like never quite finishing the book and getting it published, designing the talks but never delivering them, or writing the blog posts but never pressing the publish button.

Here’s why: Your soul won’t let you get away with it.

I see the tug of war over being seen publicly as a battle between your soul’s deeper knowing and your inner critic’s limiting beliefs.

Who do you want to win?

The cost of listening to your inner critic, the one that says it isn’t safe, that you’ll make a fool of yourself, that people won’t like what you say, or that you have nothing new to say, is that your soul will be unfulfilled.

To be more specific, your level of happiness, satisfaction, and sense of fulfillment in your life is directly connected to the degree to which you are doing what you were put here to do.

So if you have a call to the spotlight (or to anything, for that matter) — regardless of how much you dread it — you’re not going to feel complete until you do it.

I can tell you truly that I have never been happier than I am now with all the writing and speaking I’m doing.

I can also tell you that I have never been more scared. But despite the fear, it feels right, and that’s how I know I’m on the right track.

Your turn

What calling are you avoiding or not embracing as much as you truly know you want to?
Tell us in the comments.

Want help expanding your comfort zone around being seen by an audience? Join my small, healing-focused group designed to help you feel ready to share your gifts with the world. 1 spot left.

Warmly,

Jenna

~> May 10th. Last day to register for the next 4-week session of my “Just Do The Writing” Accountability Circle. This is for writers who want help staying on track and consistent about doing their writing, day in and day out. Details.

~> Ongoing. Writing in the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU. Now we’re working on our query letters so we can start promoting our scripts.

~> June 12th to 15th. Heading to Hollywood for a ScreenwritingU event to meet with producers and agents. Can’t wait!

~> Sacred writing time. Early mornings and Fridays.

~> Still reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with my boy. I’ve been keeping up with Castle and Once Upon a Time while I’m waiting for Downton Abbey to be available again. Oh, and waiting with baited breath for Avengers Assemble. Can’t wait to see Joss Whedon working his magic with superheros!

Filed Under: Creativity Tagged With: audience, calling, life purpose, spotlight, tomato fears

How to find your calling as an artist

April 18, 2012 by Jenna Avery 4 Comments

Several people have mentioned recently that they know they have a calling in a creative direction but that they aren’t sure where to start to figure out what it is.

This is something I specialize in — helping you get clear not only about your life purpose, but also honing in on the specific expression of your life purpose that you can do in your daily life.

Life purpose versus the specific “thing” you do

For example, if your life purpose is to be a “Messenger” or “Mass Communicator,” the specific expression of that might involve being a broadcast radio announcer, a book author, a keynote speaker, or a journalist.

Similarly, if your life purpose involved “Creative Expression in the Spotlight,” we’d want to get clear about whether you’d rather be a stage or movie actor, a painter doing studio exhibits, a creative writer, or a dancer, for instance.

Most coaches will tell you that the way to do — once you know your broader life purpose — is to figure out what you are passionate about.

The problem with starting with what you are passionate about

The question of getting clear on what you are passionate about is one that fascinates me.

Why don’t we just know what we are passionate about? Is it simply that it’s been drained out of us by our cultural programming? Are we numb to the world because of the pressures we face and the constant onslaught of choices and information?

A while back I said that I think we might be asking the wrong question, to ask what we are passionate about. I say that because — particularly in the business coaching industry — there’s a kind of “well, all you have to do is what you are passionate about and all your problems will be solved” mentality. *blinks brightly*

No pressure there.

I mean, people come to coaching to find their life’s direction — if they knew what they were passionate about they’d already be doing it. And just point blank asking, “What are you passionate about?” triggers a bunch of remote answers that don’t have a lot to do with anything meaningful and makes people feel like they’re just stupid or blocked.

Which they are.

Blocked, I mean, not stupid.

Here’s the funny thing.

Deep down, some part of you that you’re not tapped in to — your soul — does know.

And it’s your job — just like it is for each one of us — to learn how to connect with that deeper inner wisdom and guidance that’s available to you and listen to it.

Listen to it like your life depends on it.

It does.

But wait a minute, Jenna, I can’t hear that voice!

I know. It’s hard to find, right?

It takes practice. Patience. Quiet time.

Journaling.

Listening.

Make space in your life for that deeper voice of wisdom to speak, and you will hear it.

And yes, you are avoiding it by numbing out, being so busy you can’t think, and constantly being online. Those things don’t help.

Go outside. Touch the ground. Make something REAL. Put your hands in that big planter filled with mint and breathe the scent.

Look at the sky and let your soul touch the clouds.

And do it again.

And again.

Then tell me what you found out.

Your turn

I’d love to hear what you think! Your comments are always welcome.

Warmly,

~> April 19th, 2012. Last day to register for my next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group on May 17th. Only 1 spot remaining. These groups consistently sell out, so if you’d like to join me, reserve your spot ASAP. Register here.

~> April 19th, 2012. Teaching a live webinar for Writer’s Digest, “10 Practical Tips for More Consistent, Productive Writing.” Register here.

~> April 25th, 2012. Second date, same class, different graphic, different venue! A live webinar for The Writer’s Store, “10 Practical Tips for More Consistent, Productive Writing.” Register here.

~> Ongoing. Writing in the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU. I have a fancy marketing campaign printed out and on my wall now. It’s a thing of beauty!

~> Sacred writing time. Early mornings and Fridays.

~> Still reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with my boy. Can’t watch Downton Abbey right now since it’s backlogged on Netflix. Up to other things in the meantime.

Filed Under: Creativity Tagged With: creative calling, creative destiny, creative expression in the spotlight, Creativity, life purpose, messenger, true calling, vision, writing

The deep vulnerability of being seen creatively

April 13, 2012 by Jenna Avery Leave a Comment

If you’ve ever felt called to doing something artistic or creative, you’ve probably also realized by now that it can be pretty uncomfortable to share that work with other people.

There’s a deep vulnerability that comes with sharing our voices, art, words, acting, performing and other creative expression that can be so unnerving that many people never quite get past the word “Go” and instead sit on the side lines, reluctant to put themselves out there.

I see it with coaches who don’t feel ready to make offers yet or put off setting dates for their workshops and classes.
I see it with writers who never quite seem to finish their writing projects or stall when it comes to developing plans to get their work into the world.
I see it with actors who are terrified of going to auditions and postpone calling their agents until they “feel ready again.”
I see it with artists who hide their work away in their studios and never make a sale.
I see it with entrepreneurs who can’t decide what their niche is or never seem to get all the details just right before they launch.

I have something to tell you.

This is all driven by fear.

Fear that you aren’t good enough, won’t measure up, don’t have something new to say, that what you say won’t be liked, think you’re being presumptuous to think you deserve a place at the table and more.

How do I know this?

I know because I feel ALL of those things myself. Every single one of them.

The key is to not to let the fear stop you. I like to help you look directly and compassionately at the fears and old wounds that hold you back so you can move forward more comfortably and courageously. Usually those fears aren’t so scary when we nudge them out into the light.

An experiment

If you want to experiment with this, write down a fear that’s swirling around in your head right now (I’ll wait, and yes, I really do want you to write it down in black and white on paper).

Okay, now ask yourself, “Is this true? Do I know this for sure?”

Then ask, “How can I reframe this belief?”

Here’s an example:

The fear: “My script isn’t good enough.”
Is it true?: “No, I don’t know that for sure.”
Reframed: “I’m going to focus on the strengths of my script and do my best to make sure they shine.”

Try it, and let me know what you think!

I wrote a blog post today about the difference between a spotlight Life Purpose marking and a spotlight Gift Marking. That question keeps coming up.

The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter which marking you have or if you have one at all, really.

If you are called to the spotlight and you aren’t doing it — no matter how scared or reluctant you feel about it — you are going to feel unfulfilled, stuck, confused, spinning in circles, lost, and apathetic until you do it.

At the end of the day, one way or another, you need to do your spotlight work.

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

If you want to summon your courage and step into YOUR spotlight, join my upcoming Spotlight Study Group, where we’ll have a safe, sensitive-friendly, small, intimate coaching group to clear up the fears, doubts, old wounds, and other obstacles to claiming your place in front of your audience — where you belong.

Starts May 1. Early registration ends Sunday, April 15th. Details are here.

Questions? Email my team.

Filed Under: Creative Blocks, Creativity, Sensitivity Tagged With: creative blocks, fear, spotlight, tomato fears

Stop your tomato fears from stopping you

April 11, 2012 by Jenna Avery 8 Comments

When you’re venturing out into the world to be seen by an audience — into the spotlight — your fears of ridicule and judgment are apt to rise quite high.

It’s enough to keep you in perpetual procrastination mode, never quite finishing your book, website, screenplay, speech, or ________ so you can truly put yourself out there.

Change your underlying story

The path to the spotlight requires changing your underlying story about your “tomato fears” so you don’t feel held back by them.

Among the many tomato fears, like creative apathy, creative confusion, and creative blocks, you’ll likely face fears like these two:

The “It’s all been said before” syndrome

This comes up when you think you have nothing new to say, there’s nothing new under the sun, and hasn’t it all been said before?

These messages and questions will keep you quivering in silence unless you adopt a new mindset.

Try these ideas on for size:

Remember that YOUR audience is waiting to hear from you.
They may never “get” what it is that you’re here to share unless YOU share it.
Even if you’re sharing something that’s not “new,” your unique take on it may be exactly how they need to hear it to finally “get” it.

The “Who do you think you are” syndrome

This is fear rearing its ugly head in the form of, “You’re not special. Who do you think you are?”

Try this on instead:

Understand that this is your divine contract to deliver and take your ego out of the equation.
Recognize that interacting with your audience is a sacred exchange of energy. Treat it respectfully and reverently.

(These are excerpts from my Sensitives in the Spotlight class which will be available in my shop later this year as a self-study class.)

Change your questions, change your life

One of my favorite quotes from Tony Robbins is, “To change your life, you have to change the questions you ask yourself.”

Your philosophy and the questions you ask yourself about being in the spotlight and sharing your creative work profoundly shape your experience.

Change them, and change your life.

Your turn

I’d love to hear what you think! Your comments are always welcome.

Warmly,

Jenna

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Starts May 1. Early registration ends Sunday, April 15th. Details are here.

Questions? Email my team.

~> FRIDAY, April 13th, 2012. (Extended an extra day!) Last day to register for the next session of my Writer’s Circle session starting on April 16th. Sign up here.

~> April 19th, 2012. Last day to register for my next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group on May 17th. Only 3 spots remaining. These groups consistently sell out, so if you’d like to join me, reserve your spot ASAP. Register here.

~> April 19th, 2012. Teaching a live webinar for Writer’s Digest, “10 Practical Tips for More Consistent, Productive Writing.” Register here.

~> Ongoing. Writing in the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU. Starting the marketing module today!

~> Sacred writing time. Early mornings and Fridays.

~> Now reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with my boy. I’m thinking I’m going to have to knock off after that for a while because they do take a turn toward the darker side and he’s still just a little one. We’ll see. I’m also thoroughly enjoying watching Downton Abbey and Enlightened. Great shows, both.

Filed Under: Creativity, Sensitivity Tagged With: HSP, sensitivity, spotlight, tomato fears

Don’t wait for the right time to write — get started fulfilling your calling now

April 4, 2012 by Jenna Avery 2 Comments

I waited for a long time before I began writing seriously.

I thought I need to make more money first, get caught up on my other commitments, have more childcare, or somehow find big blocks of time in my busy schedule.

I had a few other “stories” too, like thinking I needed to have a genius idea hit me like a stroke of lightning before I could get started.

With a few nudges from some good friends reinforcing what my soul had been pestering me about for many, many years, I decided the time to start writing was right away, not later.

I took a class to get myself going, which was lovely, but it wasn’t enough to help me make the shift to being a serious writer.

So I did some major life design work to reorganize my business and my life around my writing.

It required some choices that were uncomfortable, like changing my sleeping pattern, developing new disciplines, and making new commitments.

I also started my online Writer’s Circle.

Getting from point A to point B

From the outside looking in, it can feel overwhelming (especially for sensitive types) to contemplate making a major life change like this, which is why we put it off.

It’s not that hard when you break it down into steps.

I made the internal decision to write and to think of myself as a writer (I also did some NLP work to ease that transition).
I implemented the external changes: Adjusting my schedule, my sleeping pattern, my habits, and my commitments to myself and to others.
I started taking classes and immersing myself in the writing world.
I shifted my attention in terms of my reading and my community as part of that immersion.

At the outset it felt impossible to get here.

Now there is no question is my mind about being a writer and having writing as an integral part of my life.

Start small, but start now

Barbara Sher says, “Start small and start now.”

The lesson here is that if you have a dream — whether it is to write, dance, sing, act, share your wisdom, start a business, or whatever you feel called to — begin it now.

As W. H. Murray loosely paraphrased from Goethe, “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

The Writer‘s Circle has taught me the power of regular, consistent, small action.

In the first session of the Circle, I added 21 pages to my screenplay in 23 days, averaging only 25 minutes of writing per day.

I’m happy to say, that by continuing with that pattern of consistent, regular action (though I did gradually increase the amount of time I put into it), I completed my first feature-length screenplay Monday.

It was truly amazing to see what one can accomplish with small steps.

No matter where you go, there you are

What fascinates me most are the internal shifts we make as we go through a journey like this — from thinking of ourselves one way (“I’m a coach.”) to a new way (“I’m a writer and a coach.”).

I’ve been through this before, as I made my shift from urban design work to life coaching (apparently I’m one of those serial careerists — check back with me in 10 years and we’ll see where I am!).

I still feel like me, the fundamental essence of who I am hasn’t changed, but the way I think about who I am has changed.

Ah, life!

A tip to go

My favorite trick for getting things into motion is this: Decide what you’re going to work on — something you’ve been dreaming about but putting off — then set a timer for 15 minutes and do it.

Then stop and celebrate.

If you’re feeling really reluctant, set that timer for an even shorter length of time, like 5 minutes. (I’m not kidding about this.)

Then do it again tomorrow.

Your turn

I’d love to hear what you think! Your comments are always welcome.

Warmly,

As sensitives, how can we be more comfortable being seen, heard, and read in the spotlight?

NEW DATE: I’m teaching a teleclass on April 10th at 3 p.m. Pacific Time (4 Mountain, 5 Central, 6 Eastern, Midnight GMT), called “Sensitives in the Spotlight: How Artists, Writers, Hermits & Introverts Can Navigate a Call to the Public Eye.”

The fee for the class is $39. When you register, you’ll have an opportunity to submit your questions for the live session, so I’ll be sure to answer them for you. Register here, or find out more here.

~> NEW DATE: April 10th, 2012. My teleclass, “Sensitives in the Spotlight: How Artists, Writers, Hermits & Introverts can Navigate a Call to the Public Eye,” will be held on April 10th at 3 p.m Pacific Time (4 Mountain, 5 Central, 6 Eastern, Midnight GMT). Find out more and register here.

~> April 12th, 2012. Last day to register for the next session of my Writer’s Circle session starting on April 16th. Get my Free Writing Tips series too, and receive a coupon for a savings on your first 4 week session. Sign up here.

~> April 19th, 2012. Last day to register for my next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group on May 17th. Only 4 spots. These groups consistently sell out, so if you’d like to join me, reserve your spot ASAP. Register here.

~> April 19th, 2012. Teaching a live webinar for Writer’s Digest, “10 Practical Tips for More Consistent, Productive Writing.” Details soon!

~> Ongoing. Writing in the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU. We’ll be starting our marketing module soon.

~> Sacred writing time. Early mornings and most Fridays. (This week I’m easing off a bit after a big push to finish my draft!)

~> Still reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with my boy. We’ve already checked out the next one from the library so we’re ready.

Filed Under: Writing Tagged With: procrastination, small steps, writing

Getting comfortable with being seen, heard, and read, Part 2

March 29, 2012 by Jenna Avery 8 Comments

We resume our story where we left off, with a young woman who had sworn never to speak in public again.

She couldn’t quite get away with that, and even found herself drawn into the public eye giving presentations through her professional work.

But she always dreaded it.

When she left her regular job to go out on her own, she knew she had something to say, but wasn’t sure where to start.

She began with writing with an online newsletter, then added blogging, and eventually began writing articles that were picked up by other websites.

But she still found herself hesitating when it came time to hit the “publish” or “send” button. What if people didn’t like it? What if they disagreed or thought she was wrong? What if she was too “woo-woo” or different or controversial or …?

So she moderated her message, held herself back, and tried to toe the line.

Despite that contradictory dance of trying to hide out and be seen simultaneously, she began to build a following: She had something to say that her right audience wanted to hear.

And with the feedback from her audience, her voice grew stronger, even though she still felt nervous when she pressed the “publish” button.

Eventually, she felt inspired to teach classes and found a venue to offer free classes as a place to start.

And people came!

She was TERRIFIED!

But she held her ground, practiced her energy skills, and reminded herself that she could trust herself to handle anything that came up, even if she didn’t know the answer.

And it was great.

Of course, she couldn’t sleep that night and laid awake late into the night processing the whole experience endlessly.

But she did it again. And it was easier. And she laid awake less and processed less and enjoyed it more.

So she taught another class, and another.

Eventually she began offering her classes online for a fee. And then weekend-long workshops.

And it just kept getting easier and easier and easier.

Have you guessed by now? Did you know already?

This woman was me.

I’ve traveled a path from being terrified of speaking and writing in public to feeling much more comfortable with it. While it’s true that I still get nervous — I even ask myself, “Why am I doing this?” from time to time — I’ve learned that the level of satisfaction I feel when I share my message with my audience is so very high that it is entirely worth it.

As a sensitive person who loves to hermit herself away at home and write (just ask my friend Kris how hard it is to pry me out of my little cave), I’ve learned a number of ways of understanding and working with myself and my sensitive, introverted, empathic wiring so I can handle being seen, heard, and read.

I’ll tell you that as I stretch myself farther with my screenwriting and other writing, it is becoming increasingly uncomfortable again, but I will not let that stop me from reaching for my dreams and sharing what I have to say.

Your turn

What about you? Does this inspire anything for you? Your comments are welcome.

Warmly,

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Starts May 1. Early registration ends Sunday, April 15th. Details are here.

Questions? Email my team.

~> April 19th, 2012. Teaching a live webinar for Writer’s Digest, “10 Practical Tips for More Consistent, Productive Writing.” Details soon!

~> Ongoing. Writing in the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU. Closing in on the complete draft.

~> Friday through Monday. Sacred writing time while I complete my draft. The Do Not Disturb sign is up.

~> Still reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with my boy.

Filed Under: Sensitivity Tagged With: introverted, messenger, public speaking, sensitive, shy, spotlight

Getting comfortable with being seen, heard and read

March 21, 2012 by Jenna Avery 15 Comments

As artists, writers, and messengers, we have work we want to share with the world: Something to say, write, or show.

But for those of us on the more sensitive side, the intensity of being “seen” in this way can be completely overwhelming.

A story for you

Today I want to tell you a story about a woman who went from being terrified of being seen, to writing, blogging, teaching, and speaking her message in the world.

Here it is:

In her 10th grade English class, this woman — a girl, then — was asked to choose a poem, read it to the class from the front of the room, and speak about how it related to her own life.

It was the first time she had been asked to give an oral presentation on such a personal subject. She had never enjoyed speaking in front of the class before, but this took her anxiety level much higher.

When the day of the presentation arrived, she had practiced endlessly, but she was still so nervous and tense about the whole thing that as she sat in the hallway before class, she had tears streaming down her face. Her friends didn’t know what to do or say. Knots were twisting in her stomach, she was as pale as a ghost, and she felt like she could be knocked over with the slightest breath of wind.

When the bell rang, she mustered herself into the door and sat at her desk, her head spinning with pounding voices and everything she was supposed to say. She was so nervous that she couldn’t concentrate at all on the teacher’s or on the other students’ presentations. The class dragged on interminably and she was in agony waiting for her turn, watching the clock ticking closer and closer to what felt like a death sentence.

Then suddenly she realized there wasn’t enough time left for her to present — the bell was going to ring! She was off the hook!

A huge wave of relief swept over her. She was saved. The bell rang, and she left, practically levitating out of the room.

But then the next day at school, she had to face the same situation again. She cried in the hallway again. She sat through class on pins and needles, again. And the class ended without her having to speak, again.

It went on like this for days, literally. Even over a weekend. It must have been at least 7 consecutive school days of this torture, including the crying and her friends not knowing what to do with her.

It was truly, truly awful.

Finally when she did give her presentation — it went fine — and it was actually behind her, only then did she feel true relief from the anxiety that had built up inside her.

I’d like to tell you that she learned from that experience that public speaking wasn’t so bad. But she didn’t.

Instead, she swore then and there never to speak in public again.

It didn’t quite work out that way, with more schooling to come. But she was crystal clear that she would NEVER speak in public voluntarily. NEVER.

Until, of course, she realized that she actually had something to say. Something that was important to her. Words she wanted to share, verbally and on the page.

Her message.

That’s when things really changed for her.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of this story, coming soon.

Your turn

Your comments are welcome.

Warmly,

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Starts May 1. Early registration ends Sunday, April 15th. Details are here.

Questions? Email my team.

~> March 27th, 2012. Last day to register for my next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group on April 24th. Only 3 spots remaining. These groups consistently sell out, so if you’d like to join me, reserve your spot ASAP. Register here.

~> April 10th, 2012. My teleclass, “Sensitives in the Spotlight: How Artists, Writers, Hermits & Introverts can Navigate a Call to the Public Eye,” will be held on April 10th at 3 p.m Pacific Time (4 Mountain, 5 Central, 6 Eastern, Midnight GMT). Find out more and register here.

~> Ongoing. Writing in the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU, which was recently named the #1 screenwriting class by InkTip. We’re finishing our “First Ten Pages” module. It’s amazing!

~> Daily and especially Fridays. Sacred writing time. The Do Not Disturb sign is up.

~> Now my son and I are reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and loving it.

Filed Under: Sensitivity Tagged With: introverted, messenger, public speaking, sensitive, shy, spotlight

First get the habit in place

Do it as early as you can

Your turn

What does it mean to be blocked?

Plumber’s block?

Can we redefine it as resistance?

Interesting links on writer’s block

Your turn

About The $100 Startup & Chris Guillebeau:

Your turn

Life purpose versus the specific “thing” you do

The problem with starting with what you are passionate about

Here’s the funny thing.

But wait a minute, Jenna, I can’t hear that voice!

Your turn

An experiment

Expand your Spotlight Comfort ZoneWith practical and spiritual tools to help you get thereIn a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Change your underlying story

The “It’s all been said before” syndrome

The “Who do you think you are” syndrome

Change your questions, change your life

Your turn

Expand your Spotlight Comfort ZoneWith practical and spiritual tools to help you get thereIn a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Getting from point A to point B

Start small, but start now

No matter where you go, there you are

A tip to go

Your turn

As sensitives, how can we be more comfortable being seen, heard, and read in the spotlight?

Have you guessed by now? Did you know already?

Your turn

Expand your Spotlight Comfort ZoneWith practical and spiritual tools to help you get thereIn a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

A story for you

Your turn

Expand your Spotlight Comfort ZoneWith practical and spiritual tools to help you get thereIn a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Join Called to Write

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group