I’ve never been good at cherishing the moment or being “in the now.”
I’m a Four, so I’m pretty much always wanting more and nothing is ever quite good enough.
From time to time, I find my way out of that obsession and into a much more present place with what’s available to me. Interestingly, writing early has made a huge difference in my ability to be more present and to cherish the moments I have. It’s as if showing up and doing my true work is allowing my brain to quiet down and just be. It’s so nice.
The veil between life and death
The greatest experiences in my life that have brought me the closest in to truly cherishing and experiencing life always involve deeply real things that seem to be closer to the veil between life and death. For instance, when my ex-boyfriend lay in a hospital bed on the verge of death, it was pretty clear to me what mattered and what didn’t. (A city plan? Uh, no.)
Similarly, years ago when our kitty C. J. approached the end of her life and spent two weeks insisting on being carried and held by me continuously, I found myself focusing very intently on my time with her and enjoying it profoundly — the sweet, pure energy of her attachment to me was deeply compelling. She died at home in my arms, and it was a beautiful, deep experience I’ll never forget.
I found myself in a similar situation again recently. Our lovely kitty Maddie has a tumor and we will be saying good-bye to her soon. Every night she sleeps cuddled up with us, and I feel so sad knowing we’ll have to say goodbye soon. It is also so precious to know, feel, and celebrate our connection so consciously for a time. I’ve found myself just wanting to sit on the couch and hold her all day.
A reminder to be present
These kinds of experiences remind me to be more present — with my family in particular. I’m far from perfect at it, but I find myself focusing on enjoying my time with my son and my husband at a deeper level. All that work can wait for another day.
The power of darkness
In hand analysis, the Gifted Empath is also called “The Hospice Worker,” the one who can go into the darkness of life (things like death and divorce) and hold a non-verbal space for transformation and healing. A client recently asked about that — why would we want to go into the darkness?
And I said, “What if there was something beautiful about that darkness?”
Tonight, on the Solstice, the longest night of the year, I’ll be lighting candles with my family, celebrating the wisdom I gain from the darkness.
Your Turn
What wisdom do you find in the darkness? I’d love to hear from you.
Happy Solstice and Happy Holidays,
~> Ongoing. My Protection & Grounding Jewelry is on close-out. Only a few items are left. Find them here.
~> December 22nd, 2011. The last day to register for the next session of my Writer’s Circle is TOMORROW, December 22nd (starts December 26). Sign up here. Get my Free Writing Tips series too, and receive a coupon for a savings on your first 4 week session.
~> February 2, 2012. Start the new year fresh with your life purpose clear in your mind. My next life purpose breakthrough group session in on February 2. Details. Registration deadline: January 5.
~> Ongoing. Writing in the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU.
~> Daily and especially Fridays. Sacred writing time. The Do Not Disturb sign is up.
~> Spending time with my family over the holidays. (And still writing!)
Hi Jenna –
what a lovely post! And an important one too! I’m an HSP/empath (I finally got a description for my sensitive wiring) and a storyteller.
Two days ago, I was guest blogging and wrote about the same topic. If interested, you can read it here: http://lialondon.net/guest-post/
I want also to say that your post are so inspiring and helpful. I don’t think of myself as overly ‘insane’ anymore, read too sensitive and emotional, thanks to you.
Enjoy the holidays, or should I say the holy days that are ours to live!
Thank you so much, Michi, for your comments. Your post is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me.
What a great post for the longest night of the year :)
I too feel like I gain something from the darkness. I would describe it as liberation. There are some aspects of it I am willing to go into and others not so much, but often I feel better about my imperfections and human-ness.
My clients tell me that I’m willing to go places others are not. That I am not *shocked* by their darkness serves them.
Also, I believe my capacity for feeling joy is in the same proportion as my capacity for facing the darkness, because that which we mute or suppress impacts *all* of our experience.
Darnit Jenna, you got me coaching myself again… :)
Nice one Jenna! I find that the darkness is a great place to experience trust and faith – that the light always returns with a little patience.
What a thoughtful post. I have had so many animals myself. I have always enjoyed their natural easy companionship, and when it came time for them to leave, those moments were especially loving- a bittersweet cherishing of out time together. I always had the feeling that they were much more relaxed about leaving than I was and to this day I feel their energies present with me. We still hang and I am grateful to each of them for willing to share this life. They are such magnificent teachers of what matters.
My best to you and Maddie.
Hi Jenna
As a Nurse I have been exposed to many people crossing over. I have since retired from nursing but I still assist other who are dying to finish all they feel needs to be done and to help them to find forgiveness for others and mostly for themselves. It is a privilege to be able to help another cross over without fear or regret. I am blessed that I can help through Meditation, listening and just Being present in the moment. I have found great peace and comfort in knowing what the dying experience and I know it is a great honor to be chosen to experience the actual dying process as it is very powerful. Death energy is exactly like birth energy. It is beautiful to experience especially with a loved one be it family or friend. I know that this is one of my roles and I do cry, feel sad for the physical loss but know that we all still continue to live on. Those whom I have been blessed to help have given me the gift to truly appreciate life but also to know that in the end we all go home and start another life just not on this Earth.
I also would like to add that I have learned that death is not darkness it is just another form that we transcend to! There is always a lot of Light that surrounds any creature be it a cat or human when they pass. It is okay to miss them and to grieve but only for awhile. Know you can talk to anyone or any pet that has crossed. Thanks for the chance to express my point of view!