“Impostor syndrome” — the feeling that you are a fake or a fraud — usually goes along with a fear that people will find out you are not actually good at what you say can do. Or perhaps that you can’t do it at all.
Most of my clients and colleagues all mention feeling this way at one time or another. I have felt this way myself, in everything I’ve ever undertaken, including graduate school, urban design, coaching, and writing. The internal message runs something like, “I don’t know what I’m doing and someone is going to notice. I’ll be found out. They’ll know I’m a fraud.”
Is this for real?
Wikipedia describes impostor syndrome as a “psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments,” and that “despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.”
Apparently this feeling is most common among people (both men and women) who are highly intelligent and who are high achievers.
Isn’t this interesting?
The “impostor cycle”
This post notes that it’s not actually a psychological problem but rather a cultural phenomenon tied to learned behavioral patterns of high achievers who get caught in an “impostor cycle” of over-preparing and procrastination. To me, this reads like part of the formula for perfectionism too.
What can we do?
On the days when you feel like a fraud:
- Remind yourself of all the things you HAVE accomplished: The work you’ve done, the lives you’ve touched, the relationships you’ve built, and the experiences you’ve had. If it helps, make a list and keep it handy for an emergency.
- Remember to ratchet back your expectations to aiming for great work rather than pushing yourself past all reasonable human limits striving for perfection.
- Recognize that you’re probably feeling insecure because you’re venturing into new territory or wanting to reach for something bigger.
- Don’t let yourself go into hiding or hold yourself back — keep reaching for your dreams.
Tell me what you think
Do you ever feel like a fraud? How do you deal with it? Share your thoughts.
Warmly,
Funny Jenna, I was just thinking earlier today, “I bet Steven Pressfield (fill in the blank with your hero of choice) isn’t still in his pajamas at this time of day.” We are so hard on ourselves.
Reading your post I just now had to remind myself of some pretty incredible things I’ve done this year.
Thank you again for helping to bring things into perspective.
Warmly,
Mary
Great post and great topic, Jenna! I do think that for me the “fraudulent” feeling is highly connected to perfectionism and the idea that I have to work and prepare that much harder than everyone else to be good enough. And it especially shows up when I’m trying something new or in unfamiliar territory. Thanks for bringing it to light — I think it’s important to “normalize” it so it doesn’t prevent us from moving forward!
Hi Jenna,
Good article.
Perfection does not exist! Yet folks are trained to push toward it. My father has a very nice philosophy that’s served him well in life. He works on something for awhile and then stops and says, “It’s good enough.” Then he goes onto something else.
I’ve made many imperfect fantastic contributions! Been working on my drawing for about a year now and it’s amazing to see how far I’ve come with it. Am illustrating my own book!
Thanks, G.
Wow! I have felt like a fraud my entire life it seems! Just recently, I have decided to give it up. It’s not easy since the guilt and shame from it is so overwhelming but the thing is, I know in my heart of hearts that it is not true. I hate to think that so many others feel this way but at the same time I am relieved that I am not alone. These negative emotions are all fear based and the one thing I know about fear is that we have the ability to control it because if we don’t it will indeed control us. There is never a shortage of things to work on – that’s for sure!
Good for you for giving it up, Tineke! It’s not worth it. You might be interested in the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck on the subject of a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset, the latter of which fosters that imposter feeling, I believe.
Thank you, Jenna. It’s definitely ongoing process. Thank you for the book suggestion. Have a great day!