Do you have accomplishment amnesia?

November 28, 2012 by 14 Comments

Accomplishment amnesia is a common ailment that strikes many of us, particularly those of us that are highly conscientious, responsible, talented, and highly sensitive. It seems to run in parallel with these traits.

What is accomplishment amnesia?

Accomplishment amnesia occurs when we get so busy meeting our obligations and moving on to the “next thing” that we quickly forget what we’ve done in the past (however distant or recent) that has value.

I find this malady particularly comes up when we get into a place of self-doubt — we can’t remember a single thing we’ve done or accomplished. We feel useless, talentless, valueless.

We might even feel creatively blocked or numb because we are devaluing the work we’ve done but are not appreciating.

A darn good job

I’ve been going through a rough patch lately, and I noticed recently that as I’ve been starting to feel better, I’ve been berating myself for not having done more lately. “Why am I so behind? How have I let things get like this?”

I stopped myself and noticed what was really going on: I had accomplishment amnesia.

I quickly reminded myself of all the personal challenges I’ve faced over the last couple of months, including having surgery on my wrist, and shifted the conversation to noticing what I have done: filed my taxes, settled a car accident claim, dealt with an intensely difficult emotional time, never missed writing a blog post, coached my clients, continued running my Writer’s Circle, and carried on writing my screenplay no matter what. Wow! I’ve accomplished a lot under very difficult circumstances.

Sure, there’s more, there always is. But look at what I’ve done!

Does this happen for you too?

Most of my clients have this kind of accomplishment amnesia. They’re so focused on what they haven’t done, that they forget to celebrate what they have.

Here’s how you can start to shift out of this delusion that you haven’t done anything worthwhile:

1. Catch accomplishment amnesia early.

When you notice yourself falling into the pattern (like I did), stop and take stock. Is it really true that you haven’t been doing enough? Take a few minutes to review what you actually have done. You’ll be surprised.

2. Don’t buy into the standard definitions of success and accomplishment.

Don’t limit yourself to society’s success definitions. Instead, think about what you’re proud of. Create your own definition of what it means to be successful.

Just yesterday, my writers and I were discussing what it means to claim the title of “writer.” Many of us are discovering it has much less to do with being a published or sold writer (though many of us are striving for those), and everything to do with showing up and doing the writing regularly — having a writing practice.

3. Set small milestones.

Increase your sense of accomplishment by setting and celebrating small milestones as you attain them. Instead of only celebrating when you complete the book, whoop it up for every chapter. Then when you do hit the finish line, make sure you celebrate that point too.

I’m rewriting my screenplay using Chris Soth’s “Mini Movie Method,” which lends itself nicely to this sort of milestone assessment. Every 15 pages I complete another mini-movie, so it’s easy to create a sense of accomplishment as I go.

Look for similar small milestones in your own work.

4. Celebrate your accomplishments in the moment.

I watched a fun video of Tamara Ireland Stone, author of the young adult book, Time Between Us,* which I just finished reading and very much enjoyed. She had just received her box of copies of her book and made a point to celebrate with her husband and friend and glass of wine. I hope she’ll do the same for every future book as well.

When you do have an accomplishment, STOP what you’re doing and celebrate. Build the muscles of appreciation for yourself and your work.

5. Create a “brag book.”

I’ve forgotten where I first heard this term, but the idea is to create a scrap book of your accomplishments so that you can go back and remind yourself, “Yes, I’ve done some amazing, wonderful things.” And you have. Include anything and everything you can think of that you’ve accomplished. On my list: birthing my son, finishing my first screenplay, completing graduate school and earning two master’s degrees, nurturing an incredible friendship with my best friend, becoming a certified life coach, etc.

Bottom line

It’s all too easy to think of ourselves as never reaching the finish line when there’s always so much more to do. Rather than thinking you’ll never get there, remember to enjoy what you’re doing along the way. It’s the journey, after all, that counts.

Your turn

Click here to tell me what you think. I always love to read your feedback.

Warmly,

 Jenna

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Inner Game of Writing Tagged With: , , , ,

What to do when you want to write but you’re not writing: 6 steps to get back on track

June 1, 2012 by 2 Comments

Note: For all the naysayers who scoff when people have trouble writing — these aren’t the droids you’re looking for. You can go about your business. Move along, move along.

When you want to write, but you’re not doing it — whether not at all or not as much as you’d like — there are some simple tricks that can help get you going.

Here are some examples of times where you might see your not-writing pattern show up:

  • You’ve been wanting to write but you aren’t sure what to write about.
  • You know what you want to write about but you can’t find the time to write.
  • You have time to write but you can’t seem to get yourself to do it — and you feel guilty and ashamed about it.
  • You were writing regularly, but you just got back from a trip and you’re having trouble getting started again.
  • You’re stuck on a particular part of your project and you don’t know what to do about it.
  • Just looking at a blank page is overwhelming.
  • Thinking of the final product (the book, the screenplay) is overwhelming and you can’t imagine how you’ll ever get there.
  • You’ve had a success with your writing and you’re feeling intimidated about topping it (second novel syndrome is an example of this).
  • You’re bored of the project you’re working on and you can’t think of anything else to work on that sounds remotely interesting.

First things first.

ALL of these scenarios have one thing in common: Resistance.

Resistance is that little devil we affectionately know by many names — perfectionism, procrastination, fear, doubt, apathy, etc.

Resistance is telling yourself you don’t have enough time: You do. Really. You only need a few minutes every day to get back on the horse. And it’s way less hard than you think it is. I promise.

Resistance is telling yourself you don’t care, don’t have ideas, or don’t want to write. Bull. I know you’re a writer and I know you want to write.

Let me help you.

6 steps to get back on track with your writing

Step #1: Don’t fall for the resistance.

Resistance LIES to you. It is the enemy. Resistance is not your friend. It is not the truth. It is like an energetic force you press up against when you start moving closer to your project, like you’re wading through chest-high sludge. It pushes you back. IT resists YOU.

DO NOT fall for it. Do not believe it, do not entertain it, do not listen to it.

Step #2: Start with super small baby steps.

The smallest you can muster.

Decide on the very smallest increment of writing that feels totally, completely, 100% attainable.

My recommendation? Somewhere between 5 to 15 minutes per day.

Step #3: Use a timer.

Get out your paper, your file, whatever you want to work on. Set your timer for the time you agreed upon with yourself. Write for that entire length of time. Don’t stop until the timer dings.

If you’re fresh out of ideas, do morning pages, use writing prompts, or answer questions from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way or The Vein of Gold. Or brainstorm concepts for your next novel or script. I don’t care what you’re doing, as long as you’re putting words on the page.

Do work on these with an eye on getting clear what your bigger project is about if you aren’t already.

Step #4: Celebrate!

Seriously. I’m not kidding. You just overcame the massive forces of resistance. That is no small feat. It’s like destroying the Death Star every single day.

Give yourself a treat — surf on YouTube for a couple of minutes, stretch in the sunshine. No big deal, just a little acknowledgement of what you just accomplished.

Step #5: Mark time on your calendar for tomorrow and plan what you’re going to write.

Get out your calendar and schedule the time for your next writing session.

While you’re at it, decide what you’ll work on during your session.

Step #6: Continue every day.

Keep writing, incrementally, for at least 5 to 7 days out of every week. You’ll be surprised to notice that it’s much easier to get started again when you’re staying current with your project. Experiment with how much time it’s “safe” to take off.

I found pretty quickly that anything less than 5 days off is almost unbearable for me. Seven days a week on the other day, feels exhausting. I do like to have a day off.

Next time: 10 tips to make writing regularly easier — Stay tuned!

The next session of my Writer’s Circle starts on Monday, June 11th, and the last day to register is Thursday, June 7th by Midnight Eastern Time. If you are a serious writer who isn’t writing — or a writer who wants to get more serious about your work — my Writer’s Circle system will help you finish your projects. Come join me!

Find out more at www.JustDoTheWriting.com

“I tamed the book beast in 3 sessions, 15 minutes at a time.”

“I’ve had this book brewing in me for 15 years. I never thought I could finish it…it seemed too big. After joining the Writer’s Circle, I tamed the book beast in 3 sessions, 15 minutes at a time. The Writer’s Circle system is so effective, that I have used the basic principles in other areas of my life to great success. It is so satisfying to finally turn my dream into reality.”


~ Terri Fedonczak, Certified Martha Beck Life Coach, www.aLifeInBalance.com

Finished the first draft of her parenting book after starting it 10 years ago.

 

Filed Under: Writing Tagged With: , , , , ,

Writer’s block: Does it exist?

May 16, 2012 by 3 Comments

I’m fascinated about the debate about “writer’s block.” Some people claim that it does not exist, while others find themselves in the grips of it and feel invalidated by the people telling them it isn’t possible.

I think it’s a question of definition.

What does it mean to be blocked?

I met a writer once who claimed he was “blocked,” which to him seemed to mean that he was completely unable to think or express anything, verbal, written, or otherwise. He simply refused to try to express what was going on inside him (we were in a coaching session), saying, “I don’t know. I’m blocked,” as if it was a disease that had consumed him that he was unable to control and he was unable to speak, think, write, or act.

I think this is what people mean when they don’t say they believe in writer’s block — that it seems unlikely that writers are so completely unable to communicate.

I’m inclined to agree, but I’ve also heard so many stories about writers who have been blocked for years, it’s a bit confusing.

Plumber’s block?

Chris Guillebeau, in our Q&A interview the other day, said, “Have you ever heard of plumber’s block? Of course not — so if you’re a writer, you just need to write.”

It’s like writer’s block has become a passive excuse for not taking action on our writing, just like saying we’re creatively blocked is a passive way of not taking action on our creative work. And while I think it might actually be possible for a plumber to feel blocked, Chris makes a good point.

Can we redefine it as resistance?

On the other hand, if we redefine writer’s block as that constellation of perfectionism, procrastination, fear, excuses, anxiety, negativity, confusion, apathy, discomfort, and self-doubt otherwise known as resistance, then I think we’ve got something we can understand and deal with.

To my mind, resistance is a truer naming of writer’s block. It encompasses that sense of reluctance we feel about pursuing things that we know we want to do. I’ve known I’ve wanted to write for years, but hadn’t completed any larger works until recently.

Resistance is the stumbling block, and fear is its silent partner.

Writing — or taking action — is the answer, according to Seth Godin and Ira Glass. I’m inclined to agree.

Interesting links on writer’s block

Wikipedia article on writer’s block

Seth Godin on the writer’s block epidemic

Ira Glass on storytelling (live)

Ira Glass on storytelling (animated)

i09 on different storytelling writer’s blocks and how to deal with them

Trippy therapy techniques for blocked Hollywood writers and executives

 

Your turn

Do you know of any intriguing articles, perspectives, or resources about writer’s block or creative blocks? I’d love to have you post them in the comments on the blog.

Warmly,

 Jenna

Filed Under: Creative Blocks Tagged With: , , , , ,

The deep vulnerability of being seen creatively

April 13, 2012 by Leave a Comment
If you’ve ever felt called to doing something artistic or creative, you’ve probably also realized by now that it can be pretty uncomfortable to share that work with other people.
 
There’s a deep vulnerability that comes with sharing our voices, art, words, acting, performing and other creative expression that can be so unnerving that many people never quite get past the word “Go” and instead sit on the side lines, reluctant to put themselves out there.
 
  • I see it with coaches who don’t feel ready to make offers yet or put off setting dates for their workshops and classes.
  • I see it with writers who never quite seem to finish their writing projects or stall when it comes to developing plans to get their work into the world.
  • I see it with actors who are terrified of going to auditions and postpone calling their agents until they “feel ready again.”
  • I see it with artists who hide their work away in their studios and never make a sale.
  • I see it with entrepreneurs who can’t decide what their niche is or never seem to get all the details just right before they launch.
I have something to tell you.
 
This is all driven by fear.
 
Fear that you aren’t good enough, won’t measure up, don’t have something new to say, that what you say won’t be liked, think you’re being presumptuous to think you deserve a place at the table and more.
 
How do I know this?
 
I know because I feel ALL of those things myself. Every single one of them.
 
The key is to not to let the fear stop you. I like to help you look directly and compassionately at the fears and old wounds that hold you back so you can move forward more comfortably and courageously. Usually those fears aren’t so scary when we nudge them out into the light.
 

An experiment

If you want to experiment with this, write down a fear that’s swirling around in your head right now (I’ll wait, and yes, I really do want you to write it down in black and white on paper).
 
Okay, now ask yourself, “Is this true? Do I know this for sure?”
 
Then ask, “How can I reframe this belief?”
 
Here’s an example:
  • The fear: “My script isn’t good enough.”
  • Is it true?: “No, I don’t know that for sure.”
  • Reframed: “I’m going to focus on the strengths of my script and do my best to make sure they shine.”
 
 
I wrote a blog post today about the difference between a spotlight Life Purpose marking and a spotlight Gift Marking. That question keeps coming up.
 
The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter which marking you have or if you have one at all, really.
 
If you are called to the spotlight and you aren’t doing it — no matter how scared or reluctant you feel about it — you are going to feel unfulfilled, stuck, confused, spinning in circles, lost, and apathetic until you do it.
 
At the end of the day, one way or another, you need to do your spotlight work.
 

Expand your Spotlight Comfort Zone
With practical and spiritual tools to help you get there
In a safe, sensitive-friendly 6-week study group

If you want to summon your courage and step into YOUR spotlight, join my upcoming Spotlight Study Group, where we’ll have a safe, sensitive-friendly, small, intimate coaching group to clear up the fears, doubts, old wounds, and other obstacles to claiming your place in front of your audience — where you belong.
 
Starts May 1. Early registration ends Sunday, April 15th. Details are here.
 
 
Questions? Email my team.
 
Filed Under: Creative Blocks, Creativity, Sensitivity Tagged With: , , ,

Finding The Way Through Perfectionism — A Success Story

November 23, 2011 by 2 Comments

One of “my” writers in the Just Do the Writing Accountability Circle, Molly Yarrington, has taken on a brave and courageous challenge to raise $300 for charity by writing 30 poems in 30 days in the month of November.

Molly is a sensitive soul, a dreamer, a writer, a crew coach, and a poet with a passionate spirit — and like many of us (including me), one with a strong perfectionist streak.

Molly is courageously using this challenge and the support of the Writer’s Circle to push herself to publish a daily poem on her blog to overcome her fears around sharing her work with others and to tame her perfectionism.

“I have been a hermit poet most of my life.”

Molly says, “I have been a hermit poet most of my life, hiding my poems away and only sharing them with a select few best friends. When I took on this challenge, I made a commitment to write and make my writing public, daily.

“All the poems are fresh, ‘first draft‘ format. It is a rare poem I write in one sitting, so this has been a double challenge for me to share not only my poems, but poems I consider to be ‘works in progress.'”

From the inside of the Writer’s Circle (I’m writing this with her permission), I’ve watched Molly persevere through an incredibly busy time in her life to write a poem each and every day, sometimes posting with only minutes to spare, while we cheer her on.

It’s been inspiring to see Molly struggle with the feelings that come up around sharing such raw, deeply personal writing in such a public way, and do it anyway.

You see, when it comes to writing — or creating anything for that matter — we have to be willing to give ourselves permission to do it no matter what, and even to start.

And one of our biggest obstacles to starting is perfectionism, which is really fear in disguise.

Molly says it beautifully:

“Along with, and much more importantly than helping me develop a daily habit of writing, the Writer’s Circle has brought me an awareness of the real issues that have held me back, and believe me, they are NOT lack of time (though I did believe that was the primary issue when I began).

“Through my interaction with this amazing group, I have been able to see that what holds me back is nothing special — I share the same fears and concerns as everyone out there — and somehow, knowing I am not alone in this creative process, makes all the difference.”

The trick is to find ways to bypass that urge to perfect before we create something, and take the risk to get it out there.

Let Molly be your inspiration.

Find Out More About Molly’s Project

Read Molly’s poems here.

If you’d like to, you can support Molly’s pledge for the Family Literacy program of the Center For New Americans here.

Join The Writer’s Circle

If you’d like to have the support to overcome your inner struggles with writing, come join my Just Do The Writing Accountability Circle. The last day to register is TODAY, Wednesday, November 23rd for the session that starts on Monday, November 28th. http://JustDoTheWriting.com

Your Turn

How are you holding back? What are you ready to share? Tell us what you think.

 Jenna

Coming Attractions

~> November 28th. The next session of my Writer’s Circle starts. Sign up here. Get my Free Writing Tips series too, and get a coupon for a savings on your first session.

~> November 29th. It’s my birthday! I’ll be holding a birthday sale for the entire week. Details coming soon.

 


~> Ongoing. Writing for the ProSeries class at ScreenwritingU. Today I worked on eliminating clichés from my script. Super cool.

~> Daily and especially Fridays. Sacred writing time. The Do Not Disturb sign is up. Except this week sacred writing Friday became sacred writing Tuesday because of Thanksgiving. :)

Filed Under: Creative Blocks, Creativity, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Healing Your Past Creative Wounds

September 29, 2011 by 1 Comment

One of the things that can stop us from moving ahead with our creative work is our creative wounds.

These are the painful experiences we’ve been through associated with our creative work that lead us to make decisions that it’s not safe to be creative or take creative risks, and that ultimately we’ll be hurt if we express ourselves creatively.

These wounds show up in our lives looking like creative blocks, and we can even forget about them until we do a little deeper digging.

I’m in the process right now of working with myself and my clients to clean up these old creative wounds, so that we can move forward more consciously.

So How Does One Heal a Creative Wound?

Here’s a simplified version of the process I’m using with my clients, which is based on Isabel’s powerful business transformation work.

  1. First, identify the story of the creative wound. What happened, factually? What happened, emotionally?
  2. Then identify the conclusion that you’ve drawn as a result of that experience. What have you decided to believe about being creative as a result of the experience?
  3. How can you reframe that limiting belief into a new way of looking your creativity that is both believable and supportive?
  4. Now do some release work on the story — write a forgiveness letter and shred or flush it, do a shamanic fire ritual (a “green fire”), use ho’oponopono, or create another ritual to let go of the old story.

Simple as this work may sound, it can have quite an impact.  My clients are already reporting seeing new levels of inspiration and creative discovery as a result of our work. It’s thrilling!

Your Turn

  • What creative wound are you ready to let go of?
  • How has it shown up in your life so far?
  • Are you ready to let it go?

I’d love to hear from you.

 

Jenna

 

Filed Under: Creativity Tagged With: , , , ,
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