In this month’s “Ask the Coach” article, I’m addressing a set of questions from a reader about managing self-doubt in writing.
“[My] fear of failure has several prongs for me:
1. What if no one likes my writing? I’m trying to make it as truthful as it is filled with emotion and colorful descriptions, but maybe it’s just me because I relate to it all.
2. I’m currently writing a memoir that involves some memories of my parents and their failures — but good memories also. I feel guilty/disloyal for writing about their failures, but to some extent that’s where the strength of the story lies.
3. What I create in my head as I’m falling asleep never seems to be as great when I put it into my computer.
4. I suffer off and on with imposter syndrome, but I usually like what I write in the end.”
This is a set of challenging questions so many writers wrestle with. It reads to me like issues of self-doubt more than a fear of failure, though the two are intertwined.
First let me say this: In working with writers all over the world, being a writer myself, and reading first-hand accounts of seasoned, professional writers, so many if not all writers deal with self-doubt and fear much of the time (including me).
Here are the 6 antidotes I discuss in my response:
- Use self-doubt as a clue that what you’re working on is important.
- Trust that truth transcends differences.
- Ask yourself empowering questions.
- With memoir, write for yourself first.
- Embrace the vision while also welcoming imperfection.
- Trust the process.
The real key to all of this is learning to manage the doubts and the fears so they don’t stop you from writing, and so that they don’t make the experience of writing miserable along the way, by triggering overwhelming negative self-talk, habitual procrastination, perfectionism, and even shame.
I’d love to answer them for you in my column.
