I’ve been thinking a lot about “ending the struggle against yourself” and “not being so hard on yourself” because that ranked so highly in my recent poll.
And as I was reviewing my morning pages today as part of an Artist’s Way exercise, it struck me that the struggle against ourselves is really all about avoiding our fears.
And from there I saw the massively, insanely clear connection between the ways I struggle with myself and my own life lesson, which is “Trusting my Creativity.”
The same thing is true with ALL the ways I struggle with myself. I struggle with myself around behaviors I wish I wouldn’t do — but they are all just creative blocks in disguise.
Here’s what I mean:
In my own case, a lot of my struggles with myself are around falling into feeling apathetic — a classic creative block. I feel like, “I don’t care,” or “It doesn’t matter,” or “I don’t really want to do it anyway,” so… I get stuck on taking action on my creative dreams.
But what’s really going on when I feel apathetic is that I am actually feeling the raw, naked fear — which to my body feels like a core survival fear — of going into my creativity and seeing what happens.
My fear has a lot of stories about what that might look like. (They aren’t pretty.)
But my heart and spirit have an entirely different story.
(I’m reminded here of my teacher Sonia saying, “Get a new story.”)
The story of my heart and spirit is this:
You are a writer.
You are an artist.
You are here to express yourself creatively and to be received for your creative expression.
You were born to do this.
If you are a creative soul struggling with creative blocks, perhaps you’ll take heart from my Artist’s Way and True Spirit Work inspired affirmation, “I courageously pursue my artistic passions, no matter what, pain, doubt, or terror I might face in the process.”
How Does This Play Out For You?
I’d love to hear from you about:
- How do you struggle against yourself?
- What fear are you avoiding facing?
- What’s the new story you want to be telling yourself?
If you think you might just be in the eensy teensy tiniest bit of struggle against yourself, come and find out what your life lesson is (and your purpose!), once and for all. It’s like having the secret code that will help you unlock and unleash yourself from the inside out. Amen to that, sistah! Join one of my Life Purpose Breakthrough Groups (only one spot left in the Big Vision Group) and get your head on straight with what’s really going on so you can bust yourself on your blocks and get a move on with your Big Dreams. Finally. What a relief! Registration ends May 12th (that’s this Thursday, people).
~> May 10th, 2011. My Artist’s Way Accountability & Support Group continues. Details.
~>May 26th to May 28th, 2011. Attending Andrea J. Lee’s Wealthy Thought Leader event via simulcast.
~>May 28th, 2011. Next broadcast of my Dreamification Radio show on Radio Lightworker. Details. Listen from anywhere in the world to this Internet radio show.
~>June 9th, 16th, and 23rd, 2011. My brand new Life Purpose Breakthrough Group event series for getting you back on track with what you were put here to do will be happening on June 9th, 16th, and 23rd — but you have to register now (by May 12th). Three groups are available: Intuition & Inner Wisdom, Creativity and Big Vision. Only 4 spots available in each group. Is one of them yours? Find out more here.
hello i am a performer and i am blocked by which route to go down the saboteur of confusion. and i think its not worthy and i could not possibly attract money to my passions. i have to struggle as a careworker while writing and performing and taking classes but i cannot break into the world of money around it. so i will be exhausted and never reveal who i am in the world and be realised and grow and be nurtured in my craft.
Hi Carmel, if you are struggling around money and creative blocks, you might want to read Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way (http://amzn.to/artistswaybook). In addition to dealing fabulously with creative blocks (confusion is one of them), she also has some powerful discussions about money and getting paid for our work as artists.
It also sounds like you could use some affirmation as to whether or not you are called to path of art. The very tone of your message to me strikes me that the answer is YES, but I’d love to read your hands to help you confirm it if you’re interested.
I say, don’t give up your art. Find ways to make your day job easier. A lot of the struggle comes from within.
Hi Jenna,
A lot of folks suffer from creativity block and a fear of diving into their creative heart’s desire and it’s not natural. Being creative and full of life is the natural condition. We snuff that out and funnel folks into soul-numbing lives (do I ever deviate from this topic? not really because that’s my life lesson – challenge the status quo!)
The jobs that bring in the big bucks ought to be the ones folks do for free because they have so little spiritual value. It’s the creative jobs that make the world more beautiful that ought to be paying livable wages.
We keep marching in the same ridiculous direction faster and faster.
You’re right, it’s not our natural innate state to be blocked and cut off from our divine energy, flow, and purpose. And yet it is SO commonplace. I think it’s a combination of soul-numbing, cultural programming, and schooling, but I think it is also something else too. I like how Steven Pressfield in his book Do The Work (http://amzn.to/justdothework) talks about the Universe being both hostile, neutral, and benevolent all at once. Perhaps there is some truth to that. I can’t yet put my finger on it, but I think it’s more than just bad programming that got us collectively to where we are today…
I’m in sync with your articles as I just read a quote by Thomas Merton “We live on the brink of disaster because we do not know how to let life alone. We do not respect the living and fruitful contradictions and paradoxes of which true life is full.” I think that is right in line with the Pressfield quote. My 3.5 year old son was upset about something and I was trying to help him adjust to the situation rather than change the situation. This is a major departure from how I was raised – figure out how to do it right and everything will be fine and everyone will live happily ever after. This is tied to my big fear which is – what if I put myself out there and everything falls apart and everyone I love cannot handle me being ‘out’ and they leave, etc etc. How do I fly above my conditioning to do it ‘right’ to be safe or don’t do it and stay safe? How do I hold paradox on my lap? I’m so excited to find out my life lesson!