How to claim–or reclaim–your identity as a writer

December 4, 2013 by 1 Comment

If you’re struggling to claim your creative identity as a writer — or to reclaim it — there are a few things to keep in mind.

  1. Write regularly. Consistent daily writing will help you find your way back to your writing identity. Binge-bust writing patterns don’t create a sustainable sense of identity. Writing on a regular basis does.
  2. Introduce yourself as a writer. Decide that you are a writer and say so when you talk to people. If you’re on social media, put “writer” on your account profiles.
  3. Validate yourself as a writer. Stop looking for permission outside yourself to known or validated as a writer. Reward yourself for overcoming the resistance to writing EVERY DAY.
  4. Be clear about what it means to be a writer. Try on the idea that writers write. And then make sure you’re doing that. Try letting go of the idea that you have to be paid before it “counts”. Or published. Or on the big screen. Writers write.
  5. Take your dream of writing seriously. Don’t treat it as something to be shoehorned in around the edges. Design your life around your writing — not the other way around. Align all your levels of experience (surroundings, beliefs, values, actions, etc.) with your writing.
  6. Look for positive messages about writing. There are lots and lots and LOTS of people out there ready and willing to tell you how impossible it all is, that you/they will never make it, and it’s too hard. Choose to put yourself around people who know there is always a way in, even if you/they haven’t found it yet.
  7. Surround yourself with other (positive) writers. Your consciousness is affected by the people around you. Put yourself in situations where other people see you as a writer (classes are a great place to start). If you’re on social media, fill your feed with writers. Hang out with writers — but make sure they’re the writers that know that succeeding as a writer is possible.

Thanks for reading!

I always love to hear what you think in the comments.

Warmly,

 Jenna

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How to tell if you are a writer, or not

November 26, 2013 by 4 Comments

I’ve seen a number of debates and blog posts and flow charts on the internet over the last few months about how to tell if you are a “real” writer or not. This is something people struggle a lot with when it comes to their creative identity.

The bottom line of these conversations is this: Writers write. If you’re a writer, you’re writing. And, if you’re paid to write, you’re a professional writer.

As a general rule, I agree with these notions.

However!

And this is a big however: I believe these ideas are doing a grave disservice to people who WANT to write but haven’t found their way to it yet. And to the writers who have written — but for whatever the reason — aren’t writing right now.

It’s pretty discouraging.

As a coach, I hate to see discouragement happening out there in the world.

I hate to think of all the people NOT writing right now because they’ve bought into this notion that since they’re not writing YET, they must not be writers — at least not in the core sense of who they are and who they can become.

Even one of my writing idols, Joss Whedon, practically undid me when he said, “You either have to write or you shouldn’t be writing.” Since I wasn’t writing “enough” at the time, I thought, “Wait, does this mean I’m not a writer? Or that I can’t be a writer?“

So there are all these intense messages out there in the world telling you that you’re not a writer if you’re not writing. And okay, again, I see the point.

But, what if:

  • You have a massive amount of fear and resistance about writing, even though you’ve always dreamed about writing, and you don’t know how to deal with it.
  • You’re stuck with your project and you don’t know where to go next.
  • You’re blocked, you can’t pick a project to focus on, or you’re paralyzed by performance anxiety or perfectionism.
  • You’ve just suffered a major loss of a loved one or gone through a horrific breakup and you’re in the throes of grief, and you can’t find your way back to the page.
  • You’re caught up in the myths about writing (like not having enough time or money so you think you can’t write).
  • You haven’t yet built your writing habit skills, and you’re writing irregularly or inconsistently at best.
  • You’ve bought into the belief that you have to be naturally talented to be a writer so you aren’t even giving yourself a chance.
  • You believe you need more training or skills before you can write.

In my opinion, you are still a writer — at your core — even under these conditions. Yes, a writer who needs support, discipline, and structure to help get back on track. But still a writer. It means you are a writer who needs a jump start, or maybe a little coaxing to come out of your cocoon and into the world.

The thing is, if you’re called to write, you must write. And if you’re buying into this story, “I guess I’m not a writer because I’m not writing”, you will NEVER write. That’s not okay with me. I believe that our souls speak to us about what we are meant to be doing — they know WHO WE ARE at a deep level. And so even if you haven’t CLAIMED that dream yet, it’s still yours for the taking.

So let’s help you claim that dream and start writing. It’s your soul calling to you, after all.

Thanks for reading!

I always love to hear what you think in the comments.

A quick heads up that if you want a jump start to get you writing, I’d love to help. My Writing Reboot sessions are just the ticket. But don’t get one now because they’ll be in my annual birthday sale this weekend at a ridiculous savings.

Or, you might also be interested in my Writer’s Circle to you help build a regular habit and get the support of other writers to keep on writing. The last day to register is tomorrow, Wednesday, November 27. We’d love to have you join us.

Warmly,

 Jenna

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The struggle with creative identity

November 13, 2013 by 2 Comments

Last week I met with a group of 13 moms to talk about “Designing Your Writing Life as a Mom”. I was struck by the disconnect many of the mothers were experiencing around their creative identity, which is something many writers struggle with, parents or not.

Observations about creative identity

Here’s what I noticed about creative identity through talking with these moms and working with writers through my Writer’s Circle. And certainly the question of creative identity is not specific to writers, either, it translates across all forms of creative expression.

  1. When you aren’t owning your creative identity, you can feel out of step with yourself, like you neither belong here nor there. This is about not being in touch with a sense of thinking of yourself as a “writer” or an “artist” yet — or ever. (Some people don’t like labels of any kind, but that’s not quite what we’re talking about here.) It’s about having a deep sense of inner rightness connected to how you think of your answer to the question, “Who am I?”
  2. Coming to terms with your identity as an artist or writer can require dealing with old expectations and limiting beliefs about what it means to be creative. Sometimes, I find that these thoughts and beliefs revolve around negative perceptions of creativity as flaky and ungrounded. Sometimes this can also mean letting go of expectations — and previous self-incarnations — of wild and prolific creativity, especially when faced with Real Life challenges (like parenting, care giving, careers, and day jobs).
  3. As a culture we tend to diminish or devalue writing and creativity, so sometimes we resist calling ourselves by those identities. We’re afraid to be laughed at or seen as not being serious by our peers in “real” jobs.
  4. As a culture we tend to also exalt creative expression only for certain types of artists or writers (usually “talented” or “successful” in a certain way), and we feel ashamed to try to claim our creative identity “too soon.” I see this a lot in the debate about when we can consider ourselves “real” writers. Do we have to be published first? Do we have to be paid first? Many writers, including me, feel that if we’re writing regularly we can call ourselves writers. I see this showing up when people say, “I am a struggling writer” or “I am a wannabe writer.”
  5. Going through a major life transition can challenge your creative identity, like motherhood, major loss, career change, or divorce. I imagine this challenge could come in a good sense — helping us more fully claim our identities — or in more challenging one, where we lose all sense of ourselves and can’t seem to find our way back. Often this comes about when we make a transition from one career to another (even if it’s from one creative career to another). When I became a coach and left my urban design work behind, it took a long time to feel like a coach. When I became a writer as well as a coach, it took another solid chunk of time to transition into seeing myself as a writer.

Identity challenges coming out of an MFA program

One thing that also struck me when I listened to the mothers the other day was about how many of them had been through MFA programs and then into motherhood and now weren’t writing. I suspect there are a few components to that process. In the first place, an MFA program can be an extremely intense phase of writing time — even binge-writing — which can be quite exhausting and requires time to recover from. I can still remember how finishing graduate school myself felt like hitting a brick wall — intense action followed by a sudden, total full stop that left me adrift, much in the way a rushing river spilling out into a lake or ocean suddenly loses its force.

There’s also a major shift in community. One writer I interviewed about going through an MFA program said, “There is a sense of loss in leaving an MFA program. You’re surrounded by people who really care about writing, and then when you leave, you need to find a way to get continued support for your writing, and it’s not easy.”

On top of that, while an MFA program can be about becoming a writer in a very real sense, the focus is primarily on craft, and not so much on developing a consistent writing practice. My interviewee commented, “When I graduated, it was like I reentered the ‘real world’ and realized that, while I’d no doubt become a better writer, I hadn’t developed consistent, sustainable writing habits, which was about learning a whole new skill.” So it’s easy to imagine that writers coming out of an intense program might suddenly feel at a loss about how to continue — and even start to wonder who they are as their entire foundation changes.

Next time we’ll talk more about how to reclaim your identity as an artist or writer if you’ve lost it or you’re struggling to claim it.

Thanks for reading!

As always, we love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Warmly,

 Jenna

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When are you a writer?

February 13, 2013 by 8 Comments

Writers often come to me saying that they haven’t bought in to the notion of being a writer “yet.”

If you’re feeling that way, the reasons can run the gamut.

It can come up when you aren’t writing consistently.

Or it may be that you feel like you aren’t a “real” writer because you haven’t been published, sold anything, or been hired to write anything — yet. Or that you’re not earning your full time living from your writing yet.

It can also come up in the way that you think about yourself and who you are in the world.

The two most powerful words in the Universe

The two most powerful words in the Universe, according to my spiritual teachers, are “I am.”

“I am” is a phrase we use to define ourselves.

When it comes to writing (or any endeavor of the heart, for that matter), how are you describing yourself?

I shudder when I see people say, “I am a struggling filmmaker” or “I am an aspiring writer.”

I do not think that means what you think it means

My shudder may be more apparent to you when it comes to the first phrase, “I am a struggling filmmaker,” but just in case, let me explain. “I am struggling” is the key phrase in that sentence, not “I am a filmmaker.”

The phrase, “I am struggling” sets you up to experience, focus on, and even seek out struggle. Our subconscious minds are like drive through window servers, saying, “And would you like a side of fries with that struggle?” 

Your subconscious mind doesn’t judge or evaluate the quality of where you are putting your attention or whether it is the “right” thing for you. It simply sets out to fulfill the request. “Okay, struggle, let’s see, how can I create some of that?” And voilà, it’s yours.

Similarly, in the second example, “aspiring” is the key word. When you say you are an “aspiring” anything, you’re coding your subconscious to keep you perpetually in the mode of aspiration — never actually reaching or achieving.

The debate ensues

I’ve had some interesting debates about my point of view with people online on this subject. One writer was very proud of and attached to the notion of struggle. He felt like he never wanted to give up the struggle to write, because it showed his determination to wrestle with the challenge of it all. I can see that.

I’ve also wrangled with a few folks over whether or not it’s “fair” for writers who haven’t been published yet to claim the “title” of writer. To them I say, and what of the script jockey who may never be “published” (if their work doesn’t make it to the silver screen) but are paid for their work? Or what of the writer who toils religiously for years without compensation or recognition? Are they not writers? Are they not engaged in the act of writing?

And what if you’re not writing consistently?

For the writers in waiting who want to write but feel unjustified in claiming the title because they aren’t writing much or at all, the difference will come when you begin writing regularly.

“Writers write” is one of those brilliant truisms that applies best in spirit. By that I mean, the very act — the practice of writing regularly — is what brings truth to the title.

When you want to write

I’ve said before that Joss Whedon (a screenwriter I admire very much who wrote Firefly, Serenity, and The Avengers) almost did me in when I saw that he had said, “You either have to write or you shouldn’t be writing.” At the time I wasn’t writing “enough” (my own standard) and I felt that since I wasn’t driven by passion to write frequently and fervently, maybe I didn’t have what it takes.

Wrong.

What I lacked was the knowledge of the basics about being a productive, consistent writer. I didn’t have the tools I needed to know where to start, or how to manage myself in such a way as to be an effective, regular creator.

Permission is everything — and it comes from within

I also held back from giving myself permission to claim the title of writer.

In the end, they came together. I did some NLP work on my creative identity as a writer and redesigned my life and my work around my writing (I can help you with this too, coming soon).

And once I was taking regular action to write, I became the writer I know myself to be.

Your turn

I always love to hear from you. What do you think, when is a writer a writer?

Warmly,

 Jenna

 

 

 

Filed Under: Creativity, Writing Tagged With: , , , ,
Called to Write
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