When “One Size Fits All” Doesn’t Fit For You

If you’re an artistic type — a writer, painter, poet, songwriter — an empathic, spiritual healer type, or a scanner with lots of passions and interests, you’re not one who’s likely to thrive with a “one size fits all” approach to developing yourself and your work in the world.

Personally, I’ve found that as an artistic, empathic, sensitive, creative being, I do best when I have the opportunity to work with a coach or mentor who will find ways to work with me rather than expecting me to fit inside a specific box or program.

There are so many opportunities out there right to grow and develop your work, it can be overwhelming to decide how to invest your precious time, energy, and money.

Here are a few suggestions I’ll make:

  • Look for people to work with that you admire on a deep level. It’s easy to be swept up in the glamor of what people SAY they are doing. Use your intuitive radar to look beneath the surface to look for a match on integrity, honesty, commitment, and forthrightness in the people you choose to work with as well as looking at what their previous customers have to say about them.
  • Look for mentors who “get” you. There’s nothing more important than working with someone who understands you, what makes you tick, and your vision as much as possible. For me, that looks like working with a mentor who understands what it’s like to be highly sensitive and empathic, who truly likes me and what I stand for, and who “gets” what it’s like to be bright and creative with a million ideas a minute.
  • Look for mentors with expertise and a proven track record in what you are wanting to accomplish. You’ll have a much better chance of success when you work with someone who has been where you want to go. Your mentor only needs to be a few key steps ahead of you to make a valuable difference in what you are up to.
  • Invest at a level that is high enough to motivate you into action but not so high that you put yourself and your future in jeopardy. I’ve seen so many of my colleagues and friends over-invest in high level programs that don’t pay off as fast as they hoped they would, and while some will tell you that investing highly can stretch you into playing a bigger game, it can also be paralyzing if the investment is too out of reach for you financially. Also keep in mind the long term value of the investment in your life as you make a decision.
  • If you work privately at a higher level with someone, choose a mentor who will craft a custom-designed process or program for you that addresses your specific concerns and challenges in a way that feels accurately and highly aligned with what you are facing. Especially at a high-level, “one size fits all” is rarely the right strategy. We are all at different points along the path to our creative destiny so it doesn’t make sense to start at the same place as everyone else.
  • If you choose to work with someone in a group program for cost reasons, make the point to choose a mentor you have a strong resonance with and who has their feet on the ground, not with someone who is promising you the stars. Look for carefully selected groups that kick off with everyone being at about the same starting point.
  • Be willing to dig deep. It’s easy to want to jump to implementation (as I know all too well!), but spending time on the essence and deep think of what you are doing will save you time in the long run. Choose mentors who will go deep with you, hold you to that deeper truth and the big vision, as well as support you to put in the elbow grease and take the nitty-gritty, practical implementation actions to see it through to the end.
  • Last, don’t invest in anything unless you are seriously committed to making it happen. Spending the money does NOT guarantee the results. It won’t do a lick of good if you don’t have the time, energy, and discipline to see it through.

Your Turn

I’d love to hear from you about:

  • What this sparks for you?
  • How can you apply this in your own life?

 

Coming Attractions

~> July & August. Doing Creative Destiny Assessments with visionary creatives ready to claim their creative destiny. Details coming soon.

~> August 4th. My next Life Purpose Breakthrough ‘Big Vision’ Group. There’s ONE spot left. Details. If you’re interested in the next group (probably in September), email my team here and we’ll add you to the list.

~> September. Beta-testing my new writer’s accountability system with a select group. Stay tuned for more info.

 


~> MONDAYS. Right Brain Business Planning with my buddy Kris Carey.

~> FRIDAYS. Sacred writing days. The Do Not Disturb sign is up.

~> Daydreaming about going to Comic-Con next week and getting an autograph from Nathan Fillion. #imsuchageek

~> Re-reading the entire Song of Fire and Ice series by George R. R. Martin so I’ll remember what the heck is going on when I get to “A Dance With Dragons” (can’t wait).

~> Vacationing with my family in August (at least part of it!).

 

 

Comments

  1. As I was reading this a brilliant idea sparked for me of a workshop I’d like to create, so thank you for that! I love how your advice always encourages one (me) to be myself and craft a plan and a life that fits who I am as a unique individual. As a highly sensitive person I find it is so important to pay attention to my instincts about the people I want to have around me and support me the world’s one-size-fits-all advice generally doesn’t sit right with highly sensitive people like me, and that’s ok!

  2. Hi Jenna,

    Of course, this post totally resonates with me. I’m just so “blueprint” averse. Yes, folks can make a lot of money selling other folks their templates – what to say, how to say it, when to say it, why to say it – but it feels phony to me.

    It’s important to find your own voice. That’s a big problem these days with our one size fits all education and all this horrendous testing. We end up with too many clones. (My education column was published about a week ago. Will put it on my site today when I write my post.)

    Like the spectrum of colors is endless, so, too, are folks personalities, talents, purposes and possibilities.

    You’re offering something unique in this template world! Thx, G.

  3. Nice ideas but it isn’t easy trying to find people who “get you” in the real (vs. online) world. Online’s ok but I want to find real people to have face-to-face conversations with! I haven’t given up but where I live finding INFP/creative/scanner kindred spirits is tricky!

  4. There you go, reading my mind again, Jenna! ;o)
    I’m working on defining and designing my support network so that it is full and entirely sufficient, as I’ve felt for as long as I can remember that it’s sorely lacking in many areas. I love how you’ve summarized your suggestions for sizing up potential mentors. Very timely and useful.
    Thank you! I’ll be applying this directly as I continue to develop my support network and am so glad that I have you to count as a mentor! <3<3<3

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