When to look for a mentor — or not

February 6, 2013 By Jenna Avery 4 Comments

The other day I spoke to prospective client.

She said, “I just don’t know how you can help me. I mean, I already know what I have to do, I just have to do it, right?”

The answer, on some level, is “Yes, of course.”

On the other hand, the beauty of having a coach or a mentor is that you have someone with you to help you through the tricky rough spots, to hold your hand when you lose your way, and to offer a fresh perspective when you can’t see the forest for the trees.

There are many different kinds of support like this out in the world, and the key is knowing WHEN you don’t need help and when you do.

How to decide if you’re not ready for mentoring right now, or maybe it’s time to move on

You might not be ready for mentoring right now, if:

You are having trouble listening to your own voice. Sometimes, and this is true for many seekers, we take in so much information, training, and guidance from other people that we lose sight of our own knowing. This is a good time NOT to work with a mentor, but rather the time to take a break, turn inward for a while, and tune into your own voice. The exception to this would be working with a coach or mentor who specializes in helping you access your own inner wisdom, guidance, and intuition rather than directing you with their own.
Your mentor has only one right way of doing things and/or isn’t teaching you to “fish” for yourself. Ideally you’ll want to have a mentoring relationship where your mentor is truly imparting the knowledge that will help you fly on your own, someday soon. If you’re working with someone who is just doing the heavy-lifting for you, you won’t get as much out of the relationship as you deserve.
It’s not in your budget or it’s not the right program. It is important to invest wisely in mentoring. I’ve seen far too many people invest ridiculous amounts of money in high-end coaching programs that sound good on paper but aren’t specific to their concerns, only to end up in debt and none the wiser for their experience (with the exception of a lesson in more judicious spending). Choose your mentors wisely, and make sure you’re investing in training and support that gets you to the specific outcomes you’re looking for.

How to decide if you’re ready for mentoring right now

You may be ready for a mentoring relationship now, if:

Even though you know what to do, you’re still not taking action. It’s one thing to know, it’s another thing to do. When all of your self-sabotaging gremlins rear their ugly heads and trip you up, do you know how to get around them? Do you persevere and get it done? Or do you call it a day? Having a mentor can make the difference between thinking and taking action. And THAT is where the rubber meets the road. In a recent post, I mentioned that I use multiple sources of accountability and mentoring in my life. Believe it or not, I’m not that good about following through on things unless I have significant motivation to do so. I use my mentors, like my screenwriting mentor and my business consultants, to keep me on track with much of my work.
You’re ready to stand in equal partnership with your mentor. You’ll want to work with someone who isn’t necessarily “above” you, though they may have more knowledge that you do in a particular area. I’ve learned the hard way to be exceedingly careful about putting anyone on a pedestal. Instead, I look for people to work with that I have the clarity of a peer-based relationship with. When I work with clients, I like to see us standing side-by-side, partnering to address the work at hand together, bringing all our expertise to bear.
You lose your way frequently. On the other hand, the beauty of having a mentor is that you have someone to hold the bigger picture for you, even when you lose your way. If you’re at all sensitive, as are many of my readers, you’ll be more likely to flounder when the boat gets rocked. Having a mentor who will remember of all your talents and abilities — especially when you can’t — is a powerful source of comfort and sustenance when the going gets rough.
You want to move faster than you can on your own. Having a mentor definitely has advantages when it comes to moving more quickly. In addition having accountability to keep you in swifter action, it’s incalculably faster and more effective to have someone to trouble-shoot, plan, and brainstorm with you than you can usually do on your own, particular if those aforementioned gremlins are throwing their unhelpful comments into the mix.
You want the expertise and knowledge a mentor can offer. I choose to work with mentors who have a particular knowledge and expertise that I lack. Whether it’s writing a sales page or structuring my screenplay, I choose to hire folks I know I can both learn from and can help me do the work. I don’t want theory — I want practice. This is why I’ve always aimed to strike a balance between discussing the work and doing the work with my clients. I walk them through quieting their inner critics, writing proposals, working through detailed project timelines, and designing their writing schedules. Homework will only get you somewhere if you actually do it. Having someone to do the work with you? That’s where you know you’ll get the benefit for sure.
You want help applying that expertise to your specific circumstances. So often, we sign up for classes and programs but get lost in the anonymity of groups. When you want help with application of content specific to you, having someone that can focus with you on a precise project can make all the difference when it comes to translating from esoteric idea-land into practical get-it-done land. Which is where I love to live — in that bridge between worlds.

Your turn

I always love to hear from you. Let me know your thoughts.

Warmly,

~> Creative Productivity Next Steps. If you enjoyed my Creative Productivity TeleClass Series and you’re wondering about the next steps to put what you learned into practice, stay tuned for an announcement about a free information call with me coming soon. I’ll walk you through identifying your next steps and fill you in about details about how I can support you along the way through my 1:1 mentoring programs. Make sure you’re on my mailing list and watch your inbox for details coming soon.

~> Next Writer’s Circle Session. Register by February 21st for the next session of my Writer’s Circle (starts February 25th). Build a solid habit of daily writing and finish all your writing projects: http://JustDoTheWriting.com. We’re running four groups of fantastic writers right now and it’s a ton of fun. Come join us!

~> Daily. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries. Working now on Mini Movie Seven!

~> Reading The Rescue (Guardians of Ga’hoole, Book 3).* Watching Downton Abbey* (Season 3). Started up again on Michio Kaku’s The Physics of the Impossible: A Scientific Exploration into the World of Phasers, Force Fields, Teleportation, and Time Travel.*

Thanks for reading.

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Creativity, Productivity, Vision, Writing Tagged With: accountability, action, Creativity, mentor, partnership, productivity, taking action, voice, writing, writing coach

Take action on what you know

January 30, 2013 By Jenna Avery 4 Comments

As creatives, one of the skills we have to master is finding our way to the finish line, even when it feels like muddling our way through the dark.

Sometimes we know where we want to go, but we don’t know how to get there.

And when this happens, many people end up doing nothing. They don’t take action because they don’t have all the information yet, or they aren’t clear on the whole picture.

And yet from my perspective, this is one of the biggest mistakes we can make.

So often creative wait for inspiration, not realizing that if they put pen or paintbrush to page, pick up the guitar, or open their mouths to speak or sing, just trusting the act of creation is enough to get things going.

Because strange though it may seem, inching just one part of a project or idea forward can be enough to catalyze the entire system into action.

For instance, let’s say you have a beginning to a story, and you have an idea of the ending, but you aren’t quite sure how to get there yet — what happens in the middle? Well, you can start brainstorming structural ideas and plot devices. But what do you already know, and how you can nudge that forward?

Maybe you have a pretty good idea of your characters, so what if you spent some time fleshing them out? Or maybe you can visualize the ending clearly — what if you started writing there?

Yes, it’s true that some of that work might be for “nothing.” But really, truly, is any work ever lost? Isn’t it the process and the learning that comes through that work independently valuable, regardless of its lifespan?

In another example, let’s say you want to redecorate your living room, but you don’t know where to start. And yet you DO have your eye on a particular couch you just love. Rather than waiting to solve the entire design problem, what if you got the couch you love and build the rest of the redecoration project around it?

I suppose the risk is there that you’ll have purchased a couch you love but you can’t find a single thing that will look good with it, but I doubt it.

The paralysis of inaction can become painful procrastination in short order. What do you already know about where you are that you can take action on?

Do it.

Remember the quote from Goethe, “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it. Begin it now.”

Your turn

You know I always love to hear from you. Let me know your thoughts.

Warmly,

~> Daily. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.* Working now on Mini Movie Seven!

~> Reading The Rescue (Guardians of Ga’hoole, Book 3).* Watching Downton Abbey* (Season 3). Wanting to get back to Michio Kaku’s The Physics of the Impossible: A Scientific Exploration into the World of Phasers, Force Fields, Teleportation, and Time Travel.*

Thanks for reading.

* Affiliate link

Filed Under: Creativity Tagged With: action, boldness, Creativity, just do it, taking action, trusting the act of creation, writing

7 tips for staying motivated by self-created deadlines

January 23, 2013 By Jenna Avery 9 Comments

The other day I commented about how “It’s so tricky to be your own deadline-maker” on my progress page on my Writer’s Circle site. One of my lovely group members wrote back and said, “If you have some tips for how to be more motivated by self-set deadlines, I would love to try them.”

So like last week, I’m continuing my theme of answering questions that have come up in my Writer’s Circle that I felt would be useful for everyone to think about. (And before your eyes glaze over if you’re not a writer, don’t worry, you can use these techniques too.)

And here they are:

7 tips for staying motivated by self-created deadlines

As you read through these, see if you notice how I use external forces to keep the internal deadlines moving ahead.

1. Use Jedi mind tricks.

If at all possible, find a reason to believe in the significance, importance, and the power of the deadline. If you create a deadline, but you internally decide that it’s flexible or not important, you won’t stay motivated by it. So find a reason that makes your deadline compelling.

For instance, my current compelling deadline for the ebook project I’m working on is the result of mapping out my launch calendar for 2013 with my business consultant, and it’s pretty clear that unless I stay more or less on track with it, there will be a rather significant snowball effect of Other Things Not Working, which will have a negative ripple effect throughout the entire year.

Of course we built some wiggle room and flexibility into the schedule, but knowing that if I don’t meet my “ship date” for my ebook project, I’m only going to create stress and discomfort for myself. It’s highly motivating to keep me on track. (See also #2, taking care of your tomorrow self, below.)

Similarly, even if you don’t have an editor, agent, producer, audience, or manager (yet) clamoring for your latest project, you can find deadlines for it to help you stay inspired all the way to completion, like signing up for a contest and aiming to get your project submitted by their deadline.

In my case, I know the next ProSeries Producer’s Meeting is coming up this summer, so I have a deadline for finishing my script naturally built into my 2013 plan.

We can call these “self-created” deadlines, because we choose them ourselves — we make them extrinsic deadlines to help us stay motivated internally.

2. Take care of your tomorrow self too.

I have learned — finally, it’s been hard — to take care of my “tomorrow self” as well as my “today self.” In other words, when you’re tempted to slack off on your deadline, take the long view, and have compassion for the future self who’s about to bear the brunt of today’s workload.

When I’m only looking at things from the vantage point of my today self, even though I’d love to THINK that since there’s no big deadline looming on the immediate horizon I can take the day to get caught up on small tasks and admin, when I remember to think of my tomorrow self, I know SHE’LL be the one to pay the price for that kind of thinking.

Pacing myself is good for all the versions of me — it keeps me happy now, today, tomorrow, and beyond.

3. If you can’t find a reason for the deadline, invent one.

Alternatively, if you can’t find any more natural means of making a deadline motivating, create one. My favorite tool here is something we call “social accountability,” and it has to do with promising at least one other human being that you’ll be delivering said project on a specific date, ideally at a specific time.

For instance, you can agree to exchange projects for feedback or notes with a fellow writer on a certain date, or invest in a mentoring relationship where your mentor is waiting to review your work with you. I like to schedule appointments with my mentor in advance of having my next 15 pages written — it’s terrifically motivating to get me to complete them.

I also like to let my audience know when they can expect things. For instance, when you sign up for my mailing list, you’ll receive a welcome message letting you know that you can expect to receive my weekly blog post in an ezine format every Wednesday. To strengthen that deadline for myself, I’ve even set up my mailing list system (Aweber*) to automatically broadcast my blog post at 6 p.m. Eastern Time, which means that unless I have it done before then, it won’t go out on time, which means extra work for me.

An accountability party is another powerful way to create a motivating deadline. I picked up this idea from Barbara Sher’s books. The idea is to host a party — you pick the deadline — where you’ll be celebrating the completion of your project with your friends and family.

4. If you don’t have a deadline, focus on taking consistent action.

Now, all this said, one of the interesting aspects of the Writer’s Circle is that it can help you stay motivated and taking action even when you don’t have a deadline. Writing projects are long-term commitments, and staying motivated with them can be tricky. But if you focus on taking small, consistent, daily action, as we recommend to our Writer’s Circle participants, you WILL eventually reach the end of your project. You actually DON’T HAVE TO HAVE a deadline to get yourself into action.

Personally, I like to use all of the methods I’ve described here in combination. I set myself up for the regular daily action, combined with self-selected externally motivated deadlines and invented interim deadlines. The way I figure it is this: The more the better. I use every trick in the book to keep myself going. And it works.

5. Reverse engineer your project and get super specific about the details.

Once you’ve gotten clear on your deadline, start dividing up your project into manageable chunks, whether it’s chapters, word counts, or time periods. You will likely be able to identify a natural increment you can work with. Then map that out over the time period you have allotted for your project.

For instance, with my ebook project, I have three ebooks that I’m aiming to write approximately 15,000 words for each, for a total of 45,000 words. This means that I can look at the time frame I have, divide it up into reasonable increments, let’s say 1125 words per day, 5 days per week, for 8 weeks. (And also, by telling you about it, I’m creating social accountability for myself. See what I did there?)

What’s motivating about this is seeing exactly what it will take to make my goal. That’s a fair bit of work, right? And if I don’t pace myself, I’ll end up paying for it in a big binge and burnout. Not fun, not pretty. And certainly motivating to avoid, albeit in a somewhat “I don’t want that” kind of way.

6. Set up time to actually fulfill the project.

Once you’ve reverse-engineered your project, then create time in your calendar for fulfillment. You can’t “ship” the thing until you’ve created it, right? So get out your calendar and carve out time, ideally first BEFORE you do all other stuff that normally eats up your day — I know you know what I’m talking about, but just in case: email, Facebook, Twitter, games, futzing around, etc — and be realistic about what you can actually accomplish.

I can write 1000 to 2000 words in an hour, depending on the topic, so I know I’ll want to have at least 5 hours per week carved out to meet my 1125 word deadline, working at a fairly brisk pace. Keeping in mind the big picture helps me get serious about keeping my head down and getting to work when that window of time rolls around on my calendar.

7. Do the work.

Once you’ve got the time on your calendar, be prepared for the resistance to show up. It’ll come in all forms — your mom calling just when you’re supposed to start writing, or an “urgent” email popping into your inbox, or the dirty dishes in the sink suddenly becoming alluring. Recognize that long term projects, even with highly motivating deadlines, are darn difficult beasts to face. There’s always something more we’d rather be doing.

Something that helps me tremendously with this is the Writer’s Circle. As we’re growing, we’re adding more and more group writing sprints, where we come online and write collectively for an hour together. I’ve learned to schedule my project writing time with the group sprints, so not only do I have it on my calendar, I also have accountability to actually show up and do the work.

It’s so motivating and helps keep me focused when I would otherwise be tempted to postpone my writing sessions.

Yep, even me.

So be ready, with every trick at your disposal, to fend off the voices that tell you that other things are more important. They’re not. Remind yourself of your big picture deadline, why you’ve designed it that way, and do the work.

Your turn

What works for you? You know I love to hear from you.

Experiment for yourself

If you’re a writer looking for community and support on your writing journey, join our next session of the Writer’s Circle. It’s like a giant sandbox where you get to experiment with your writing habit, see what works, see what doesn’t, and have fun playing alongside other writers committed to showing up and doing the work. Find out more and register here: http://JustDoTheWriting.com

Warmly,

Filed Under: Creativity, Writing Tagged With: Creativity, deadlines, procrastination, resistance, social accountability, writing

Why I’m not interested in resolutions or themes or chains

January 2, 2013 By Jenna Avery 11 Comments

It’s the second day of the new year.

I spent a little time yesterday wondering about whether I wanted to make any resolutions and found that the answer was no. What I want to do, more than anything, is keep doing what I’ve been doing, which is making a lasting change in my life a little at a time. I thought it might be interesting to talk about why these other ideas — resolutions, themes, and chains — don’t work for me.

Why resolutions don’t work for me

The idea of vowing to take on improvements in my life from the resolution perspective just doesn’t work for me anymore.

I think it’s because it’s too vague. Maybe it’s the way I think about resolutions. I’m not 100% sure.

What I know is that in the past, when I’ve made resolutions, I’ve failed to make concrete plans for taking steps to achieve them. I didn’t understand the massive levels of resistance that would come up or have the slightest clue about how to deal with it. I didn’t know what specific actions I’d be taking.

I can remember one year when I promised myself that I would eat better, and caved in to a tasty treat on January 1st. I gave up then, figuring that if I couldn’t do it on day 1, I wouldn’t be able to continue.

I can remember another year when I resolved to journal every day, and it maybe lasted for a week before I “blew it.” So I didn’t bother to try again after that.

Now granted, I’ve grown a lot since then and I think I’m certainly more self-aware than I was 20 years ago when I was making those resolutions, but at the time, my thinking was, “I’ve already blown it, why continue? It’s already too late to get it right.”

Inherently, I think the concept of a resolution can be difficult to sustain, and can set us up to feel like we’ve failed.

Why themes don’t work for me

I’ve also taken classes and worked with coaches where I’m supposed to pick out themes for the year. The classes and concepts are lots of fun. We came up with themes like “Focus. Fun. Spirit.”

But I never stay connected to the themes I identify. They don’t have specific meaning for me. Or specific action steps associated with them. Too vague again.

Don’t break the chain?

There’s a neat calendar and article out there created by the Writer’s Store, based on Jerry Seinfield’s idea of “Don’t Break the Chain,” and an even better calendar for 2013 made by my colleague and Twitter pal Graham Jones.

Last year I toyed with the idea of writing every day. As you probably know, I run an online writer’s community — Called to Write — which promotes that kind of regular, consistent writing. But in our community, we ask our writers to write at least five to seven days out of every seven days, not to commit to writing every day.

At first I railed against the idea of taking days off. I figured we “should” all write 7 days per week (and you probably know how I feel about “shoulds” — they are big red flags).

But as we’ve been running the Called to Write community, I’ve discovered a few important things and changed my mind:

Resting replenishes my creative well.
If I take over one day off from writing per week, I have a much harder time getting started again.
If I don’t take off at least one day per week, I get rebellious and cranky and want to quit altogether.
Writing every day makes me feel worn out. It’s a grueling path. Marathon runners know the importance of rest days. And writing is certainly a marathon.
Taking guilt-free, planned time away from writing keeps my mid-brain calm (that part of your brain that freaks out and puts you into fight-flight / procrastination mode) and allows me to subconsciously work on my project in my back-brain.

Certainly, you and I are different. For some people, writing (or working creatively) every day is a must. For me, it’s a no-no.

Six days a week? Sure.

Seven, not so much. My biggest concern about the “don’t break the chain” idea is that if we DO break the chain, it’s far too easy to fall into the well of despair and struggle to get ourselves back out of it. I’d much rather plan a day off, almost like a “cheat day” with a diet, to keep me from getting mired in perfectionism, guilt, or shame.

What works

What does work for me is taking incremental steps to make lasting changes.

I like to identify my big vision, or my projects, like “rewriting my sci-fi script” or “losing 25 pounds.” If I’m feeling really inspired, I might craft inspiring intention statements, like “I intend to knock this script out of the park” or “I intend to be feel great in my own skin.”

But the most important step for me, as I mentioned above, is to come up with specific, frequent action steps and to work on “cracking my code” for overcoming my resistance to taking those steps.

Layering in new habits

I also like to “layer in” improvements.

An example?

Sure! Glad you asked.

When we started Called to Write, I focused first and only on building the habit of regular writing. I didn’t worry about the quantity of words, or even quality. I also decided not to do more than one kind of habit-building at a time. So I focused on writing for 15 minutes a day, 6 days per week.

Approximately 4 months later, I layered in a new habit of exercising. Over the years, I’ve finally realized (aka cracked my code) that I won’t work out unless 1) I’m paying someone to “watch” me do it, e.g. a trainer or in a paid class, 2) there’s a specific schedule to do it, or 3) I’m already out of the house. So I hired someone to do Pilates with me on a weekly basis.

About 6 months after that, I added in time at the gym. At first I just aimed to go once per week. I figured out pretty quickly that I could put on my workout clothes, take my son to school, and then go right to the gym. I rearranged my schedule so I don’t start coaching or working with anyone until 10:30 a.m. Pacific Time, which gives me plenty of time to get him to school, get in a good workout, and get back to my office in time to get started. I also set it up so I could do that five days per week and put two favorite movies (Star Trek 2009 and Serenity) on my iPhone so I can study them while I’m on the elliptical. Great motivation to get there.

It’s easier once you build the habit

What fascinates me about this is something I talked about in my Creative Productivity teleclass series over the last couple of weeks: Once I got going, it was much easier to continue doing it than it was to stop. I’m now compelled to keep writing and to keep exercising, two of my biggest bugaboos over the last 20 years. The more you do it, the easier it is to keep going.

So what I like to do instead of all these resolutions and themes and chains is to come up with small, almost ridiculous steps that make it easy for me to do the thing I said I was going to do, a bit at a time, and to view it like a giant experiment, where I’m observing what worked and what didn’t. One of our members says that Called to Write is like being in our own laboratory, and we are the lab rats, experimenting on ourselves. It’s a terrific analogy.

Your turn

I wonder how you might apply the same ideas to your own transformations, a bit at a time? Tell me what you think in the comments below. I love reading your comments and insights.

Build your writing habit

If you’re a writer looking for community and support on your writing journey, join Called to Write. It’s like a giant sandbox where you get to experiment with your writing habit, see what works, see what doesn’t, and have fun playing alongside other writers committed to showing up and doing the work. Find out more and register here: https://calledtowrite.mn.co

Thanks for reading!

Warmly,

Ready, set, new year

December 12, 2012 By Jenna Avery 9 Comments

If you have a dream to write or create, you probably have your sights set on the new year as a good time to recommit to your goal.

You probably also believe that once we’ve passed through the holiday ring of fire, you’ll have cleared a lot of new space, time, and energy that has otherwise been occupied with shopping, events, and clearing your desk for the holidays.

Glorious guilt and procrastination

And, surprise, surprise, there do tend to be a few glorious days in January of peace and quiet… but usually with the essence of guilt and procrastination swirling around the edges.

Because even though you’ve promised yourself you’ll get started right away on your writing or art or dream, you don’t.

It’s not what you think it is

But don’t feel guilty. It’s completely normal. You see, once you actually have that big block of time you’ve been longing for, the raw, naked fear comes bounding in and masquerades as wanting to sleep in or take some time off after all the hubbub. What’s wrong with that? “Yeah, I know I said I would write today but it’s new year’s day and I just want to get a little more sleep. I just want to spend the day relaxing for a change.”

It looks like needing time off (and you probably do actually need it) but it’s really fear.

Here’s the thing

(And, yes, we’ve talked about this before.)

Resistance comes up around anything worth doing.

We tend to recommit — at least mentally — to the concept of doing those things in the form of new year’s resolutions.

Guess what?

Those resolutions trigger even more resistance.

Which leads to more distractions, and smokescreens, and procrastination. And stress. And self-doubt.

No more stories

There’s ALWAYS something.

Always.

So.

How about instead of making resolutions, we decide to make new life decisions about setting ourselves up for a long-term, sustainable, regular practice of our art? No more grand sweeping gestures and big talk but instead an actual realistic, attainable plan to take small, daily actions to move you toward your goal?

For instance:

If you want to write, commit to writing for 15 minutes a day. (We’re offering a “Start The New Year Off Write” special for my Writer’s Circle to help with that. Code: WRITENOW to save $20.)
If you want to move your business forward, commit to doing the hardest tasks first (usually marketing, right?), for 15 minutes a day, every day.
If you want to paint, set yourself up so that you can paint a little bit every day. Use the two-second rule to make sure your watercolors and sketchbook are close to hand.

Find the smallest increment of absolutely do-able, sustainable, accomplishment you know you can meet, and commit only to that, nothing more. If you find yourself not doing it, make it smaller. And let me know how it goes.

Your turn

Click here to share your thoughts. I love reading your comments and insights.

Build your writing habit

If you’re a writer looking for community and support on your writing journey, join our next session of the Writer’s Circle, which starts soon. It’s like a giant sandbox where you get to experiment with your writing habit, see what works, see what doesn’t, and have fun playing alongside other writers committed to showing up and doing the work. Find out more and register here: http://JustDoTheWriting.com

Warmly,

Why we procrastinate, especially about the stuff that really matters

October 24, 2012 By Jenna Avery 7 Comments

I had a lovely chat with a friend recently about applying to a school program she’s interested in. She confessed that even though she very much wanted to attend the school, she hadn’t yet completed the application.

Ah!

That familiar friend: Procrastination.

Why do we procrastinate about things that are important to us?

Why is that when it comes time to do the hard work, whether it’s taking action on our businesses, filing important paperwork, writing that longed for novel or script, or making time for our art, we stall?

I mean, sure, it’s hard, but we’ve also said how important it is to us. We’ve spent money on classes, books, training, and support. We’ve written it into our schedules. It’s clearly a priority for us, right?

So why so much talk and not so much action?

It’s the size of the dream that matters.

I’ll say that again: It’s the size of the dream that matters.

The more important something is to you, the more fear, procrastination, and resistance you experience. In fact, the level of fear you feel seems to be directly proportional to the size of the dream.

Perhaps even a little bigger, just for good measure.

“The more we care about something, the more we dream, the more fear shows up.”

~ Robert Maurer, author of One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way

The problem: We’re wired to shut down in the face of fear.

The fact that our brains are wired to shut down in the face of fear is what creates the entire conundrum in the first place.

As Robert Maurer describes in One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way, when our brains go into fight-or-flight mode, our frontal cortex — our thinking, rational brain — is automatically shut off so that we can respond appropriately and quickly to the threat at hand. This is a natural response to fear. Unfortunately, our mid-brains, home to the amygdala that governs the fight-or-flight response, can’t differentiate between the fear that comes up when we’re confronted with a tiger or when we’re contemplating completing the next great opus.

And so suddenly your thinking, rational and creative brain is completely turned off . . . which when you’re attempting to create and design new business ideas or a screenplay, isn’t so helpful.

The good news

The good news is that when you can learn to expect the fear to show up, you can normalize it and make it okay. Then it’s easier to be compassionate with yourself and coax yourself through the tasks at hand.

I’ve learned to recognize my own resistance routine and treat it like a familiar visitor I know how to handle.

I tell myself, “It’s okay, I know you’re scared, you can do this anyway.” And I do (as my Called to Write members can attest).

It helps that I make a point to tackle things in small pieces, just the way Maurer recommends: “Small, easily achievable goals — such as picking up and storing just one paper clip on a chronically messy desk — let you tiptoe right past the amygdala, keeping it asleep and unable to set off alarm bells.”

This is why, even on really tough days, you’ll still find me writing at least 15 minutes a day on my screenplay, six days a week, no matter what.

The really good news?

The more work you do in small steps, the more your brain gets rewired with new neural pathways and new habits, making resistance so much easier to overcome.

Your turn

What’s your experience with procrastination? How do you deal with it? Have you experimented with small steps at all? You know I love to hear from you in the comments.

Warmly,

The end of the world as we know it

October 17, 2012 By Jenna Avery 27 Comments

I’ve been writing a lot about staying on course and listening to our own inner guidance about what we’re passionate about and called to take action on. Today’s post ventures a little father afield into a broader context I’m noticing for so many people right now: radically changing circumstances. Enjoy.

I’ve been interested in the idea of the world “ending” in 2012. Curious, waiting to see what will really happen, and anticipating something along the lines of Y2K.

In other words, not much.

My sense has always been that if December 2012 truly is the “end of the world,” that it would more likely be “The end of the world as we know it,” meaning that things will change radically and significantly as we pass through the final months of 2012… perhaps even being so lucky as to emerge into a new state of higher consciousness as some of the spiritual leaders suggest due to some kind of major world-wide changes or events.

That seems like a good thing. I’m down with it.

As I’ve observed this year unfolding however, I’ve been caught off guard by the way this massive change is playing out. I’d expected to see it on global scale, but instead (at least so far) I’m seeing big shifts on a very personal scale.

So many people around me are experiencing sudden, sweeping change. Their loved ones are dying or being diagnosed with major illnesses. Relationships are crumbling apart and unexpected truths are being revealed. So much is happening and so many people are affected and in crisis. Even people who seem “immune” because their lives appear fairly stable are getting unexpected phone calls that send their lives spiraling in entirely new directions.

It has happened for me too: Over the last 2 months, my personal life has been changed in an entirely unexpected way. I believe it will ultimately be all to the good — and — it’s been darn hard going through it.

It feels like the world is being adjusted — everything that doesn’t support us is being changed or let go of — in a radical, unalterable way.

I think I’m seeing “the end of the world as we know it” unfolding before my very eyes.

My world has certainly been irrevocably changed.

So has my best friend’s life. So has my cousin’s, my sister’s, and my friend’s life. So many changes are happening every day and everywhere.

Surprisingly, I feel 100 times stronger than I ever have before.

My resolve to keep writing no matter what has been astounding, and gratifying.

My sense of commitment to myself has been deeply reaffirmed.

It isn’t easy.

There are hard days and easier days.

But I have this sense that we’ll ALL get to the other side of this challenging time stronger, more connected, and more whole.

What do you think?

You know I love to hear from you in the comments on the blog.

Warmly,

~> October 25th. Register by October 25th for the next 4-week session of my “Just Do The Writing” Accountability Circle (starts October 29th). Looking to feel passionate again about your writing? You must write to get there: http://JustDoTheWriting.com

~> Ongoing. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.*

~> Sacred writing time. My schedule is in flux right now but I’m still writing.

~> Reading: Eragon with my son. Loving Homeland, it’s amazing.

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Filed Under: Creative Blocks, Intuition Tagged With: 2012, change, end of the world as we know it, intuitive

Design small solutions

October 10, 2012 By Jenna Avery Leave a Comment

I’ve learned to closely examine my tripping points to look for solutions.

By tripping points I mean the places in my routine where I fail to see something through to completion, whether it’s a household task, a writing project, or a personal phone call I’m just not making.

Tripping points can occur at any point in the continuum of a project or task, from start to finish.

Tripping points lead to incompletion

As I’ve studied my own process and observed my clients as well, what I’ve found is that we collectively have a tendency to either skip over key steps or fail to think through the full process.

Both of these have the same result: incompletion.

Find a higher thought

I think the inception of this exploration began back in my 20s when I was working with a therapist and I used to write my checks to her at the end of the session. There was always an awkward moment, waiting for me to do so. One day she said to me, “Other clients write out checks in advance.”

It was a new thought, something I hadn’t considered. I even realized that I was drawing out the time with her by waiting to write the checks at the end. I vowed to change my pattern right away. From that day forward, I always arrived with check in hand and had the matter settled from the start.

The tiniest things make a big difference

When it comes to getting things done, I’ve learned that the tiniest things make a big difference many times over. With my writing, for example, if the computer is right next to me when I wake up, I’m much more likely to work on my script right away — particularly if I’ve closed my email program before lights out the night before.

Mind you, I’m not always perfect about everything (thank goodness, or my inner rebel would freak out) but it’s highly useful to know the tricks that will get me into action. That said, I still have some lingering items (that darn video!) that need work.

The 2 second rule

I read recently (I wish I could remember where, if you know please tell me) about a guy who wanted to read more but was always turning on the television instead of picking up a book. His solution was to take the batteries out of his television remote control, making it just that much harder (2 seconds harder) to turn on the TV — and he found himself reading a lot more.

I’ve seen writers in my Writer’s Circle do similar things — making sure their writing materials are at the ready so that when they wake up, it’s easy to get started.

I’ve heard about a virtual assistant who keeps post-it notes on her fridge to track her hours and to do items so it’s extra easy to jot it down rather than having to dig out her work notebook.

I keep magnetic note pads on my refrigerator and have a system for keeping my pantry filled: If something gets taken out of the pantry, it goes on the list. We always have an extra bottle of ketchup that way. (Good thing with little kids around, and in earthquake country to boot.)

Your turn

How could you apply this idea to make getting something done easier? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Warmly,

~> October 4th. My next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group. SOLD OUT. http://LifePurposeBreakthrough.com

~> Ongoing. Working on rewriting my script, Progeny, with my mentor Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.*

~> Sacred writing time. My schedule is in flux right now but I’m writing regularly nonetheless.

~> Reading: Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows with my son — so close to finishing now! I think we’re going to read Eragon next. Or maybe Narnia, or The Belgariad. I can’t wait. I’m deeply enthralled by Homeland, finally saw the finale of Weeds (weird), and I’m so happy Castle is back on the air. *Grin*

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Filed Under: Creativity, Productivity Tagged With: completion, incompletion, obstacles, tripping points

Tricks I’ve learned but don’t always use

August 29, 2012 By Jenna Avery 2 Comments

Last week I wrote about “how I do it all, or not” and promised to follow up with tricks I know that help (but don’t always use) in today’s post.

Tricks I know but don’t always use

#1 Put my own agenda first

Something I was reminded of recently is that if I start my day with email, I end up focused on other people’s needs and desires — not in the energy that will help me fulfill my bigger dreams.

It’s when I put my own work first — either my writing or other “big” tasks for the day — I’m much happier and get more accomplished.

#2 Pick out the big three

I’ve also learned that if I can start off by picking the 3 big tasks that need to be completed in a given day and focus there first, the day works out for the best.

The challenge is that usually one or all of those three things is hard and triggers resistance. It’s all too easy to want to procrastinate about them, which means other things tend to expand as a way off putting of those hard things, like when I suddenly feel that it’s critically important to organize my digital files or purge my inbox.

Facing the music and doing those tasks, whatever they are (e.g. writing a challenging section of my script or making an uncomfortable phone call) is something I work on every single day.

#3 Be clear about what you need to let go

To make all of what I do happen, I’ve given up a lot.

When I had my son, I stopped volunteering so much of my time. I hired more help for my business and gave up doing so much of it myself.

When I started writing, I gave up watching so many movies and episodic programs.

Now I still watch television, but it’s very focused (and often kid friendly). I watch one movie or show at a time, usually on some kind of streaming or DVD. I don’t have cable and we no longer get regular TV reception (can you even do that anymore?).

I also gave up a lot of late night internet browsing and started getting up early so I could focus on my writing.

Bottom line

I’m not always consistent — some day I’ll get around to talking about discipline and creativity and breaking rules — but I do find that when I use these tricks I’m much happier than when I don’t.

Your turn

What about you? Do you have tricks you don’t use but are happier when you do? You know I always love to hear from you.

Warmly,

~> August 30th. Register by August 30 for the next 4-week session of my “Just Do The Writing” Accountability Circle (starts September 3rd). For serious writers and for writers who want to get serious about their writing. http://JustDoTheWriting.com

~> September 6th. Last day to register for the next Life Purpose Breakthrough Group happening on October 4th. These groups always sell out (only 3 spots remaining) so if you want to discover your life purpose through the remarkably accurate tool of hand analysis, sign up here now: http://LifePurposeBreakthrough.com

~> Ongoing. Working on my script, Progeny, with screenwriter Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.*

~> September 18 to 22nd. Heading to Hollywood for a ScreenwritingU* event to meet with producers and agents then staying on for the InkTip Pitch Summit.

~> Sacred writing time. Early mornings and Fridays.

~> Reading: Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince.

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Filed Under: Creativity, Productivity Tagged With: Creativity, Getting Stuff Done, getting things done, productivity, writing

How I do it all, or not

August 22, 2012 By Jenna Avery 7 Comments

A few weeks ago, someone said to me, “I don’t know how you do it all.”

The truth is, I don’t.

I’m doing a lot, and there is a lot I’m not doing.

How I do what I do

The key distinction I see between me and other people I know is that I have learned — through pain staking trial and error — to put the hard stuff first.

In other words, I schedule time to do what’s most important to me first, which includes my writing, my work, and my family.

I work on screenwriting first thing 6 mornings a week, give or take time off for good behavior.

I have time scheduled on my calendar for marketing, learning time, administrative and financial time, writing my non-fiction articles for my site and for my ScriptMag.com column. I block out time on Fridays for longer stretches of time to write.

I have time set aside for my family, fun, and taking care of the house.

But I still don’t do it all

And, I don’t always accomplish all those things in quite the way I’d like. I learned from Miriam to use “time blocks” — to set aside the time each week, so that if I have to miss an activity one day, I know I’ve got the time for it next week for catching up.

Where I drop the ball

The biggest place I’m dropping the ball is housecleaning. My house is much less clean than I would like it to be. And, I’m okay with that. Seems to me there are more important things than a sparkling clean house.

I also give up time with family more than I’d like, and my social with girlfriends is in need of repair. I’m not so okay with that and still working on it.

Another place I drop the ball is with “extra stuff.” Lately I’ve been dealing with a slew of unusual medical appointments, paperwork, and challenging decisions. And there’s stuff I lump into the “extra” category that needs a regular time slot too, like filing. 

So clearly, there’s room for improvement here.

Looking from the outside in

I think it’s always worth keeping in mind that what looks easy from the outside isn’t always so. Whether we’re looking at someone else’s relationship, business, finances, or life, we just can’t truly know what it’s like. So even if it looks like I’m “doing it all,” trust me, I’m not. And I’m mostly okay with that.

Next week — tricks I know but don’t always use.

Your turn

You know I always love to hear your thoughts.

Warmly,

~> Ongoing. Working on my script, Progeny, with screenwriter Chris Soth after finishing the ProSeries.*

~> September 18 to 22nd. Heading to Hollywood for a ScreenwritingU* event to meet with producers and agents then staying on for the InkTip Pitch Summit.

~> Sacred writing time. Early mornings and Fridays.

~> Reading: Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince. Watching Weeds and Newsroom.

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Filed Under: Creativity Tagged With: Creativity, doing it all, dropping the ball, having it all, writing

How to decide if you’re not ready for mentoring right now, or maybe it’s time to move on

How to decide if you’re ready for mentoring right now

Your turn

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Your turn

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7 tips for staying motivated by self-created deadlines

1. Use Jedi mind tricks.

2. Take care of your tomorrow self too.

3. If you can’t find a reason for the deadline, invent one.

4. If you don’t have a deadline, focus on taking consistent action.

5. Reverse engineer your project and get super specific about the details.

6. Set up time to actually fulfill the project.

7. Do the work.

Your turn

Experiment for yourself

Why resolutions don’t work for me

Why themes don’t work for me

Don’t break the chain?

What works

Layering in new habits

It’s easier once you build the habit

Your turn

Build your writing habit

Thanks for reading!

Glorious guilt and procrastination

It’s not what you think it is

Here’s the thing

No more stories

Your turn

Build your writing habit

Why do we procrastinate about things that are important to us?

It’s the size of the dream that matters.

“The more we care about something, the more we dream, the more fear shows up.”

The problem: We’re wired to shut down in the face of fear.

The good news

The really good news?

Your turn

* Affiliate link

Tripping points lead to incompletion

Find a higher thought

The tiniest things make a big difference

The 2 second rule

Your turn

* Affiliate link

Tricks I know but don’t always use

#1 Put my own agenda first

#2 Pick out the big three

#3 Be clear about what you need to let go

Bottom line

Your turn

* Affiliate link

How I do what I do

But I still don’t do it all

Where I drop the ball

Looking from the outside in

Your turn

* Affiliate link

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